Fantasy (3/3): Feeling Like This

Writers: Eimi, Dana
Date Posted: 4th April 2006

Characters: Traelyn, L'kub
Description: B'ram comes to Traelyn to forget Atreyn, but they both end up remembering so much more...
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 11, day 11 of Turn 3
Notes: 3 of 3

Mentions: B'ram

As B'ram collapsed on top of her, she sank her teeth into her lower lip
to keep the moan that had been building up inside her back. Feeling him
bury his face in her neck, Traelyn squeezed her eyes tightly shut. His
cheeks were smooth now, not roughened by a slight stubble. The hair
that pricked at her shoulder wasn't soft anymore, but crisp and short.
He was who he was again.

Not L'kub.

Her heart hammered painfully in her chest as, after a moment, she took
in a couple of deep, shuddering breaths, trying to get a hold of herself
- trying to fight back the waves of all those sharding, conflicting
emotions.

Then, he groaned.

Her eyes flew open at the sound, and she watched in complete silence as
he rolled off of her and turned away, one shoulder jutting up into the
blackness of her weyr.

That snarl of pain and rejection that had been rising within her died
before it could reach her lips. **He's not L'kub, you fool. He's
not...** Traelyn swallowed thickly, her hands curling into fists as
she, too, turned away. The gaping space between them wasn't enough, for
she could still hear his breathing, could still feel the warmth
radiating from his flesh.

Curling her knees up, she tried to shut herself away from everything,
trying to lose herself in sleep. But it wasn't sleep that came to her.
Instead, it was a memory.

L'kub...

~*~

Well, shards. In all the novels she had taken from the Records Room and
had stayed up into the early candlemarks of the morning reading, _none_
of them had portrayed a girl's first time quite like _this_. They had
been tales of seductive passion, the man coaxing the woman, kissing her,
reassuring her, leading her through it, murmuring encouragements along
the way...

None of that was happening right now.

In fact, it was quite the opposite. They couldn't quite look at each
other. And they were both still fully clothed. Sitting on the bed.
But the sensual tension was there - Trae could feel it. She longed for
him - but she didn't know what to do.

Had she done the right thing in waiting? Should she have gone with that
persistant bronzerider? U'waki had wanted her...he had wanted to teach
her. But she'd put him off. She'd said no.

She had wanted her first time to be with the young man sitting in front
of her.

Had that been so wise though? **Shards, Trae, it doesn't sharding
_matter_ now...** The young woman glanced up at Lakub, and her eyes met
his blue ones.

"You know," he said as he cleared his throat, at a loss as much as she
was, "we don't _have_ to do this."

"But I..."

"Do you still want to do this?" A small lump of fear could be felt in
Lakub's stomach as he glanced over at Trae. Maybe she didn't actually
_want_ to sleep with him. She had seemed to enjoy it when they made out
and when he touched her before. Maybe he had been doing something
wrong. A seed of doubt began to sprout in his mind.

At his question, she looked up and met his eyes, her own softly
imploring him. "I'm just..." She gave a small, uneasy laugh. "Shards,
Lakub, I'm just so nervous..."

"Yeah," he smiled as he reached for her hand, her laugh making him relax
just a bit. "Me too. It's silly isn't it?"

"It sharding is!" She squeezed his fingers. "I mean... Shards,
Lakub... How..." She actually blushed, unsure of how to continue.

"I don't know." He shrugged a shoulder and looked down at her hand. It
shouldn't be this hard! They had known each other practically all their
lives! She was the only girl he had ever loved. Shouldn't this be the
most natural step? "Maybe... maybe we're just still not ready."

She shook her head. No. They were. She _was_. "Maybe... Maybe all
we need to do is start out with something...simple, first?"

He nodded. "Yeah." They sat in silence for a few more moments before
Lakub started to smile. The smile turned into a chuckle. The chuckle
turned into a laugh.

His laugh was infectious - and Trae found that she couldn't stop herself
from joining in. They really were thinking too hard about all of this.
Shards and shells! Grinning, she shifted closer.

Lakub pulled her down to the bed with him in a move that they had
practiced several times of the past turn. His lips found hers naturally
as they both explored familiar territory. As her fingers slid into his
hair, his hand slipped under her tunic and along the skin of her back.
He knew as his breathing quickened he was _very_ ready for this.

Shards...but that felt sharding good... As his hand slid down to the
small of her back and on up her spine again, she shivered, the fingers
in his hair tightening.

His lips left hers and began traveling down her neck as his fingers
wandered across her back, along her sides and grazed the soft skin
around her naval. This was familiar. They had experimented this far
before and a bit farther. But Lakub wondered just when he was supposed
to take it to that next level. Though the blood was racing, his heart
was beating faster and his breaths were coming quicker, he knew part of
it was nervousness. He felt the pressure, that somehow this all
depended on him, and he wished he had pushed his best friend, Benram, a
bit more even though he was so shy about giving Lakub advice.

Passionately, Trae responded to him, and then began caressing him the
way she knew he loved. They'd done this before. She pulled back from
his lips slightly as her hands slipped under his tunic, her nails
lightly tracing the hard muscles of his chest before she lowered her
head to kiss at his neck. Slowly she worked the material further up his
body, then up and over his head.

Lakub's inhibitions were rapidly falling away as his body naturally
responded to hers. He gently pulled back and looked at her with eyes
filled with the need to know all of her. Wrapping his fingers into the
fabric of her tunic he lifted it over her head and his eyes raked across
what it revealed. She was no longer the girl Trae, the object of his
affection. Suddenly she had become Traelyn the woman, the object of his
desire.

She swallowed hard, apprehensively. She'd never seen that look in his
eyes before, and though it made her nervous, it also sent a shiver of
desire down her spine, warming her. Traelyn's own eyes caressed the
angles and planes of his body, seeing him now as the young man he was.
Flushing, she trailed the back of a finger against his cheek.

The young man no longer needed to rely on the advice of his friend as
his body told him what he needed. He pulled her to him, feeling her
skin against his as he began to explore this new Trae with his hands,
lips, tongue. Lakub could feel his blood race as he lost himself in the
new sensations.

It was much, much later, when they were finally curled tightly together
in the now completely darkened weyr when Trae whispered into his ear, "I
had no idea it was like...like _that_."

"Yeah," he mumbled, his mind still fuzzy and spinning. A slight smile
graced the corner of his lips.

She slowly propped herself up on a forearm, looking down into his face.
She could only make out the outline, but his eyes gleamed up into hers.
"I want to do it again," she smiled, leaning down to brush her nose
against his.

Lakub kissed her gently. "Me too," he smiled back.

~*~*~

And they had. Traelyn let out a soft breath, and she closed her eyes
against the sudden burning in them. Would she ever be able to think
about him now without feeling like this? Would she ever be able to
shove him away - back into the past, where he belonged?

A part of her wished she could.

Last updated on the April 6th 2006

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Fantasy (3/3): Feeling Like This