Fantasy (1/3): Stand-Ins

Writers: Eimi, Dana
Date Posted: 4th April 2006

Characters: B'ram, Traelyn
Description: B'ram comes to Traelyn to forget Atreyn, but they both end up remembering so much more...
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 11, day 11 of Turn 3
Notes: 1 of 3

B'ram

Ever since he laid eyes on her that day, she was all B'ram could think
about. Flashes of moments together, memories of places, smells,
feelings both emotional and tactile. Little details he had forgotten -
the way she would giggle when he ran a finger along the bottom of her
foot, her little snore that came out only when she was sick or really
tired, that groggy glazed look she would get when she really didn't want
to wake up, and her funny snorting laugh when she was drunk. And of
course those eyes...

He tried to work her out of his head, giving Girifith a complete
scrubbing and oiling. He tried to sleep her out of his head with an
afternoon nap, but every time he closed his eyes, hers were staring back
at him. Eventually he tried drinking her out of his head, but all it did
was give him an excuse to dwell on her even more. Now he was going to
screw her out of his head. And with the one person he knew deserved to
be used in such a way.

The brownrider didn't even knock. He just walked right into the
Weyrwoman's Weyr. _She_ was the one who called him down there! She was
the one who lured him in. If he had known that Atreyn would be there,
he would have jumped on Girifith's back and asked to him to take him as
far away from the Weyr as possible. But she gave him no warning. No
hint. Just a summons to come to her.

Well, he had come to her now. He strode towards her with purpose and
determination and ice in his glazed green eyes. "You did it on
purpose," he growled as he planted his feet in front of the goldrider.

Traelyn wrapped the towel tighter around her body, glaring fiercly up at
him. "She wanted to see you," she growled back, beginning to shift away
from him.

He followed her. She would not get away from him that easily. "Then
Onesanth should have bespoken Girifith, not Nyith! You gave me no
warning and you did it on purpose!"

She turned her back on him to fix the towel, but it was more to avoid
meeting his eyes. "Why should _I_ have to warn you? I didn't have to
do anything of the sort." Traelyn knew that trying to deviate around
her personal involvement wouldn't work, but her pride wouldn't allow her
_not_ to try. "She wanted to see you. She asked me to call you in. So
I did. And you're sharding _behavior_..." She whirled around to look at
him, her gray eyes flashing. "After all she'd been through, after all
the effort she sharding took in _coming_ here, B'ram - you treated her
like she was a - a -" She couldn't even _think_ of a word to describe
what he'd done. And she knew no words could ever describe the look on
Atreyn's face when he... "Get out of my way," she snarled, shoving past
him, needing to get away, needing to get out from under his piercing
gaze.

He grabbed her arm and whirled her around to look her right in the face.
His other arm wrapped around her waist as he pulled her right up
against his body. "Like a what?" Part of him took a small amount in
comfort in the fact that his leaving had seemed to have some sort of
affect on Atreyn. "Like what, Traelyn? Like the woman who lied to me?
Like the woman who looked me in the eye and swore that nothing was
happening between her and U'falo? She made me _believe_ her Traelyn!
She made me trust her. And then she made me believe she was making love
to _me_, but all the while it was _him_ she was thinking of! Tell me
Traelyn, just how _should_ I have treated her?"

"You selfish arse!" She struggled to break free of his grasp, fisted
hands pushing hard at his chest, his words striking too deep of a chord
in her. Much too deep. "Do you _really_ think that your sharding
break-up didn't hurt her as well?! She _hurts_, B'ram! And part of it
is because you sharding won't give her closure! I can _see_ it!"

"Let her hurt!" he roared, pulling Traelyn closer the more she
struggled. "She had all the closure she's going to get the day she
moved out of our weyr and into his! That is her closure, Traelyn. A
weyr as empty and devoid of feeling as her promises. She left with
U'falo to comfort her when she hurts. But what did she leave me,
Traelyn? Nothing! She left me _nothing_! And that's exactly what I
owe her. I owe her _nothing_! Let her hurt until she drowns in it!
Let her hurt until she's hurt like _I_ have hurt!"

**Isn't this what you wanted, Traelyn?** a part of her mind whispered
cruelly as she stared up into his angry eyes. **Isn't _this_ the wound
you wanted to tear open in him again?** Feeling sick, she shoved at
him, her nails catching on his skin. "You _bastard_. She's my
_sister_!"

"And just what is that to me?" he hissed through clenched teeth. But
part of him knew, it mean everything to him at that moment. Traelyn was
the closest he would ever get to Atreyn again. And she was _here_. A
low gutteral growl escaped him as he caught her neck with his teeth.
For all his rage and passion, the small bites were soft, almost teasing.
He wanted her to want him too.

She had braced herself for rough passion, had readied herself to
withstand the hurt, the frustration, the rage she knew was burning
within him - and was caught completely off-guard when he began nibbling
gently at her neck. _Nibbling_. Traelyn went perfectly still, her
fingers unclenching and sliding almost limply down his sides.

He pulled the towel away from her body and dropped it on the floor, his
nibbles turning into lingering kisses traveling along her collar bone.
His finger began tracing unrecognizable, soft designs along her back and
sides. It was the kind of tender touches he used when making love to
Atreyn, and in his mind a thousand memories of long nights spent
seducing and slowly awakening her to him flashed in his mind.

Her breathing quickened, her lips parting slightly, her eyes closing of
their own volition as she tilted her head back.

This wasn't the B'ram she knew. And she'd been ready for him. She knew
that he would want retribution for what she'd done to him, and it
wouldn't be him that would play stud this time. She'd been prepared for
that. But _this_... And he wasn't...

Her back arched as his fingers found a particularly sensitive area, her
hands sliding up his arms.

B'ram released her long enough to pull his tunic over his head and
dropped it on the floor next to her towel. He looked at her a moment.
She wasn't Atreyn. She wasn't the woman he wanted. He took her face
gently in his hands a tilted it until she could look him in the eye.
Her eyes lifted slowly to his, and his breathing stilled. It was _her_
eyes looking back at him. The deep grey eyes he had looked into every
day for more than three turns. Part of him knew it was Traelyn, but he
willed himself to believe it was Atreyn as he pulled her close for a
soft, loving kiss.

As her lips melted against his, she knew. She knew who he thought of as
his fingers traced her hips, who he was really holding right now, who he
was really stroking and caressing. It was Atreyn he was kissing. It
was Atreyn.

Unnerved, Traelyn turned her face so his lips brushed her cheek instead.
It was passion she understood. But this...

B'ram swept her up into his arms. She was lighter than her sister. He
missed Atreyn's softer curves. But it didn't matter as kissed her
cheek, her chin, the corner of her lips, down her throat and back up.
He laid her gently on the bed as if she were fragile and precious, and
he hoovered over her, covering her with kisses. And if he stopped
believing for a moment that she was the one he wanted, he had only to
look into her eyes to make the fantasy real again.

Trembling from much more than she'd admit to herself, Traelyn closed her
eyes, trying to let herself drift in the soft waves of tender pleasure.
But a part of her desperately wished that he'd turn rough on her, that
he'd just take her and have done. These lingering touches and soft
kisses he was bestowing upon her brought back too many memories.

It was a blissful torture.

A whimper - so uncharacteristic of her - escaped her lips before she
could quell it, and her hands tightened on the sheets beneath her,
fighting her conflicting emotions.

Yes! That was it! Atreyn had made a sound just like that, though maybe
a little deeper. A little throatier. Especially when his fingers
slipped along here, and his lips nibbled a little there. He had missed
that sound. And the feelings it awakened in him. **Shards, Atreyn, I'm
sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Come back to me now...** his mind
whispered as he tried to lovingly coax her back into his life, and fill
the holes in his heart she had left behind.

Shivering, Traelyn reached up and grasped his hair, but instead of it
being red and crisp, she imagined that it was blonde, and a little
longer. Silkier. And instead of a clean-shaven cheek that brushed
against her collarbones, moving lower, her mind conjured the thought
that his cheek was covered in a slight stubble instead, scratching her
sensitized skin as his lips grew bolder. And instead of the silence
between them, only broken by their breaths, she believed that she could
hear L'kub murmuring teasingly to her, fingers tickling her sides as he
chuckled.

Her throat tightened. Yes, she would be B'ram's fantasy tonight.

But only if he would be hers.

Last updated on the April 12th 2006

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Fantasy (1/3): Stand-Ins