The Shadow of the Day

Writers: Avery
Date Posted: 13th March 2019

Characters: Kapera, K'ran
Description: K'ran takes Kapera back to her weyr and she broods about the dragonet's death.
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 10, day 8 of Turn 9
Notes: Mentioned: Saibra
Follows the events of the DFW hatching.

Kapera

K'ran

Rogueth descended to land delicately on the ledge of Kapera's weyr,
taking up as little space as possible even though Riyanth shifted to
accomodate him.

K'ran unhooked them both and slid down Rogueth's forearm first, offering
a hand to help her down. Kapera was still a bit trembly from the events
of the evening and appreciated the offer of his arm to steady her. She
bowed to Rogueth. "Thank you for the ride," she said to the bronze. His
hide looked a little greyish, though whether that was the moonlight
casting a color on his hide or an accurate reflection of the dragon's
mental state, she didn't know.

"He says it was no trouble," K'ran relayed.

"Will you be all right, weyrwoman?" he asked her, after a moment of
silence stretched between them. She'd held herself together well during
the Hatching Feast and her encounters with Saibra, but he'd seen the
despair and vulnerability in her eyes, and he knew she couldn't have
found it easy to keep the formal goldrider's face on all night.

She expected K'ran to mount back up on Rogueth and leave now that he'd
seen her home, and was surprised when the bronzerider made no move to
leave yet, or even to drop the touch of their hands.

Kapera took a deep breath and her fingers tightened around his slightly,
a silent answer of its own. She was grateful he hadn't asked her, 'are
you all right'. She knew he knew the answer - as bronze- and goldrider,
they had unique perspective, and they both knew that no dragonrider
who'd been involved in the production could possibly be all right when
faced with the loss of one of _their_ dragonets. And she appreciated
that he'd done her the courtesy of asking if she would be. It was
another sign of what a good man he was, when she'd first overlooked him
as a boring if reliable dragonrider - she now knew he was an unfailingly
steady and respectable authority, as well as courteous and sensitive.

In the face of his clear concern, even though they had never been closer
than polite coworkers, she found herself giving him the sincere answer,
rather than dissembling, like she might have in front of someone else.
"Not right now. But I will be, tomorrow."

"If you can't sleep, have Riyanth call Rogueth," he offered. I'd be
happy to sit with you in the Dining Cavern and just talk."

She managed a small smile in his direction, pleased by the offer of
support and a tiny bit amused at how he was gently but clearly making
the terms of what he was willing to offer very transparent. He'd never
been much for bed games at Dragonsfall and it seemed he wasn't here,
either. "We will. Thank you. And sleep well," she added.

The bronzerider mounted Rogueth and the pair disappeared off the ledge
and back to their own weyr.

When he was gone, she sank down with her back against Riyanth's golden
bulk, and buried her face in her hands, letting the mask she'd kept up
all night drop.

It was all too easy for her to remember when it had been Riyanth's
hatchling who died without a lifemate. When the young brown had
staggered around, crying for a lifemate he couldn't find, and then
collapsed onto the sands and breathed his last. It had devastated her
then and the memory could upset her still, Turns later. And now it was
bubbling up all the more viscerally because of what she'd seen tonight,
the new tragedy overlaying on the old like it had just happened.

Seeing a dragonet die was bad enough. Seeing a dragonet die on the
Dragonsfall sands was even worse. Because of course this disaster had
happened at Dragonsfall. Shards, how she hated going to Dragonsfall on a
good day, and this hadn't been a good day, not at all.

Every time Kapera needed to go to back to Dragonsfall Weyr, she had to
sit down and settle her nerves. The idea of going back to the Weyr she
had once served as Weyrwoman of made her feel apprehensive. Or perhaps
'apprehensive' wasn't a strong enough word to sum up how she felt about
it. The truth was, she felt ill just thinking about returning to
Dragonsfall.

She'd managed to avoid going back the entire time she'd been
convalescing and Windswept Islands. The very first time she'd gone back
was after she'd transferred to Dolphin Cove. The entire time she'd been
there, the breath had caught in her throat, her chest had ached as
though a weight the size of Riyanth was pressing down on it, and she
felt clammy and trembly. It was as though her breathing sickness had
returned at the first breath of the air there.

She'd come back to Dolphin Cove out of breath and trembling and had gone
straight to the Healers to be seen, terrified that she'd become sick
again. The Healer she saw had told her that physically, she appeared in
good health. That the chest ache, the shakes, she was experiencing were
mental in nature; just a reaction to her complicated feelings
surrounding the Weyr, her time there, and the circumstances during which
she'd left.

The Healer had acted like she expected Kapera to be angry at her for
saying it was all in her head. And to be fair, when she was younger,
Kapera might have been furious about it. But having heard that now, that
wasn't how she'd felt at all. Now that she had lived through how
terrifying being sick was, she was relieved that it wasn't an actual
illness recurrence. She thought she didn't care if it was physical or
mental, she just knew that going to Dragonsfall made her feel
uncomfortable and so she didn't want to go back. Ever.

The response had made sense at the time. But, of course, life as a
goldrider wouldn't let it work out that way. Goldriders needed to travel
to other Weyrs on occasion to attend each other's Hatchings, to meet for
conclaves, to discuss major events, or lend each other support. Though
Kapera never wanted to return to Dragonsfall, the her responsibilities
as a goldrider, the needs of Dolphin Cove's political relations, would
have to override her personal feelings on the matter.

After her second trip back to Dragonsfall, she'd felt the same kind of
shakes and aches, had gone to the Healers again for a draught to settle
her nerves. She'd hoped it would get easier over time. She helped it
along by taking a drink of wine before going there in hopes it would
steady her nerves. She always wanted stronger liquor than that, but she
didn't want the accusation of showing up drunk to another Weyr. It would
ruin the reputation for professionalism she had been working so hard on
cultivating.

That starter glass of wine might have been enough to prepare her for a
regular hatching, but not for what she'd seen today. So Kapera stood up
from Riyanth's side long enough to go into her weyr, take down a flask
of hard liquor, and take a swig. Then she took it out to the weyrcouch
and settled back in against her gold's side, needing to physically touch
her dragon to seek comfort from the shadows of the night.

Last updated on the March 19th 2019

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The Shadow of the Day