Far from Alright

Writers: Suzee, Eimi
Date Posted: 23rd November 2017
Series: It takes Time to Love

Characters: U'kaiah, Tavia
Description: An old familiar faces visits Tavia on Turns End
Location: Dolphin Cove Weyr
Date: month 13, day 1 of Turn 8

Tavia

Turns End. Oh, and what a turn it had been. Tavia stood on the beach
at Dolphin Cove where she'd come to visit with her parents and
friends. The bonfire roared away as it usually did with Harpers
playing and people dancing.

Kaiavin was with his grandparents being coddled and loving every
moment of it as she knew her parents were. So she'd taken a moment
just to come to her favorite little cove and watch the moonlit waves
has she had so many times before.

Five turns, so much of her view of life had changed in only five
turns. She chuckled to herself and threw a rock into the waves. She'd
tried so carefully to keep her life unencumbered with strings after
L'rak but then U'kaiah had come along and she'd somehow changed.

And then Kaiavin. Her son was the most important person in her life
these days and she couldn't regret him for an instant. Even with
U'kaiah gone she had a fulfilled life though she was sad and
distressed for the kids. Kaiafel, Kaiavin and even Ravyan. They were
missing so much. He was missing so much that he could never get back.

She looked up the beach toward the bonfire and saw the outline of
someone coming toward her but she couldn't make out any features with
all the light coming from behind. 'Though she did recognize that walk...

U'kaiah didn't say anything as he walked towards her. Instead, he
just flopped down into the sand next to her and picked up a stone of
his own. Finally, looking out over the waves he said simply, "Kaiavin
seems to be loving all the attention."

"Yeah," she she nodded and sat down. "My parents spoil him, but that's what
grandparents are for. Right?"

"That's what I hear," he said before throwing his stone into the water
with a splash that couldn't be heard over the sound of the waves.
"How's your Turns End so far?"

A small smile tilted her lips and she looked up the beach at the
bonfire. "A little nostalgic," she said. "I think we met somewhere
around here after that Waterball game."

His lips twitched into a one sided smile with a soft little snort.
"No, I'm pretty sure we met out there in the water when you tried to
drown me."

"Well," she crinkled her eyes and looked sideways at him. "I didn't
_exactly_ try to drown you. I just wanted to stand on your shoulders
and you didn't cooperate."

"Why would I cooperate? We didn't play for the same team back then."
He hitched up his knees and rested the elbows of his long arms atop of
them as he looked out over the water. "They don't really play
waterball where I'm at."

"True," she nodded. Then she turned her upper body to look at him. "Of
course we're not exactly playing for the same team now are we?" Her
eyes were sad, not accusing just acknowledging the state of their
relationship.

She may not have intended to point a finger of blame, but the
bronzerider's guilty conscience felt the sting nonetheless. His head
turned away from her almost as if she had physically slapped him as he
looked back up the beach at the bonfire. Things had not turned out
like either of them had intended, and he knew all too well whose fault
that had been.

She stood back up, immediately uncomfortable, and looked down at her
hands. "Sorry," she murmured.

"It's alright," he said, reaching down to pick up another stone which he
flung out into the waves. They were just the words that were
supposed to be said when one apologized, not a sentiment he actually
believed. In fact he knew full well that things were most definitely
far from alright. He knew that he was the one that should be saying
he was sorry, but how many times and in how many ways could he say it?
It felt like he had said it already so many times that the words had
lost their meaning.

He turned his head to finger the little notch that was missing from
the tip of his ear, both out of habit and as an excuse to lot look her
way. "I saw Kaiafel before coming down. I swear he's a good inch or
two taller than last time I saw him."

"Yeah," she smiled. "He's getting so big now. He'll be taller than me
soon." Her eyes were a little sad. "You know what he told me the other
day? He said you were the best Weyrleader in all of Pern."

And this was exactly why it was so hard for U'kaiah whenever he saw
his family. Even the things that should have made him happy made his
heart break just a little more. It wasn't that he didn't want his son
to be proud of him. Her words touched him deeply. But the very thing
that Kaiafel was proud of was the same thing that had taken his father
away from him. U'kaiah knew just how much his son missed him. He
could see the disappointment in his eyes every time they said
goodbye. Kaiafel was old enough to understand, but it didn't mean
that seeing his father leave didn't hurt him, and U'kaiah knew it. He
felt it. Every sharding time.

"He seems pretty excited about the Hatching coming up," the
bronzerider finally said, finding a shell half buried in the sand a
welcome distraction.

"It's all he talks about," she smiled. "This is the last hatching
before he can Stand and he makes that point quite frequently." A
shadow floated over head and then a gold flit backwinged to settle
delicately on her shoulder. Tavia's smile widened as Glory's tail
wrapped around to her other shoulder. "Hello," she said in welcome and
rubbed a tiny eyeridge with her finger. Glory's eyes whirled with
concern over her person as she peered at U'kaiah.

The bronzerider had turned when he heard the beat of her wings and
watched as she settled herself. He reached out a finger towards her,
not sure if he touch would be welcomed, or if she would give it a nip
for being the cause of so much of her human's troubles. "His head has
been full of dragons as long as I've known him." U'kaiah couldn't say
'his whole life' since he honestly hadn't known Kaiafel until he was
in Harper Classes. He had missed a good chunk of the boy's early
life, and had been determined not to do the same again with Tavia's
son. And yet Kaiavin didn't even seem to recognize U'kaiah as his
father when they had a chance to meet. "I promised I would come to Kaiafel's graduation from Harper classes. And then there's his twelfth birthingday coming up."

Glory's neck arched to offer U'kaiah a length to stroke. Tavia took a
step closer so he didn't have to reach so far. "Oh yes," she agreed.
"And he is certain he will Impress Bronze just like his da."

He ran his finger down the golden neck with a half smile. "He was
weyrleader long before I was," he said, remembering the games of
'Threadfall' they would play in his weyr when he was young. "He would
sit backwards in a chair with my old riding straps wrapped around him,
and I'd throw strings up in the air for him and his dragon to char.
He'd shout out orders to the riders." Even to one particular
goldrider who happened to walk in on their antics. Traelyn had, of
course, been a good sport and played along when Kaiafel unknowingly
demoted her to greenrider. His smile broadened at the memory.

"I can almost see it," she chuckled. Then she reached out a hand and
stroked his upper arm. "I'm glad you came," she said. "I miss you...
we all do."

He nodded silently, knowing he couldn't trust himself to say it back
without showing just how deep his loneliness ran. But he did reach up
to take her hand in his. "I'm sorry I can't stay too long. I have a
dinner at a Hold and drinks at a Hall. At some point we have to show
our faces at the Weyr. I don't know what all we've got going on.
It's kind of Hygalia's thing. I just follow her."

"Yeah," she said without saying the **as usual** that floated through
her mind. "I'll tell the kids you say hi." She squeezed his hand and
then pulled hers free. "You do say hi right," she asked as she started
to turn away.

Her punch landed painfully, and the bronzerider's hands clenched at
the sting. But there was only so much bruising that he could take.
"Yes, I do. And I love them, too, in case you weren't sure."

"I'm not sure of anything anymore," she muttered as she walked away.
Her eyes blurred with unshed tears. "I'll tell them," she called over
her shoulder. Glory crooned in her ear and she reached up to stroke
her soft gold hide.

Last updated on the September 17th 2019

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Far from Alright