Easier to Bear

Writers: Jelena, Suzee
Date Posted: 31st August 2016

Characters: Jylanya, Naton, Tonya
Description: An old, familiar nightmare occurs, but this time Naton finds it easier to shake.
Location: Dolphin Hall
Date: month 7, day 5 of Turn 8

Jylanya

It was back. For some reason the nightmare that had been gone for so
long had come back to haunt him. Naton tossed in the bed he shared
with Jylanya, sweating profusely. The dream had plagued him for so
long, that it was well known to him by now. He was well aware it was
just that - a dream. But the images that came before his eyes still
terrified him and he couldn't shake the dream, couldn't wake himself
up.

The dolphin in his arms moved her head feebly around, spasms rippling
through her body as she convulsed in her respiratory failure.

"Deet! Deet! No!" he called out in his dream, though it were only
moans that escaped his lips in the real world. "Hang on Deet. You'll
be alright. You. Will. Be. Alright."

But she wouldn't be and he knew it. He was lying to her in his
desperation and the dolphin's eye looking right at him showed him she
knew.

**Not alright. You lie. I die*.*

And it was his fault, all his fault! Why couldn't he save her? His
hands grasped hopelessly at the dolphin in his arms, that in some
strange way turned to horrid, blood-colored jelly and slipped right
through his fingers.

Suddenly his old friends from the Hall were standing around him in the
pool of dolphin jelly. They looked at him accusingly.

"You lied to her, Naton," one of them called out viciously.

"Why didn't you save her?" hissed another.

And then Jylanya was there. And Veerona. Even little Tonya. They all
pointed accusing fingers at him. Behind them a giant wave appeared,
raising higher and higher with a deafening roar.

"You failed her. You failed us all. You couldn't save her, you can't
save us, now."

As the wave crashed down, Naton shot up straight in bed, letting out a
howl of sorrow.

Jylanya started awake "Naton," she said and pushed up on one elbow
facing him. Her other hand went to his shoulder. "Was it the dream?"
She sat more erect and her other arm went around his back.

Jylanya's touch brought him back on Pern just a little, though Naton's
mind was still grasping at the fading images of Deet, the wave and the
accusing faces. For a moment he could only nod, forcing himself to
take slow deep breaths as he eased into Jylanya's touch. "I don't know
where that came from," he said breathlessly when he regained the
ability to speak. It had been so long since he'd had that dream. He
considered himself a healed man, healed from the trauma of losing his
best friend like that, dying in his arms. But if he was truly healed,
why had the dream returned?

She knew better than to try and push him through these kinds of things
so she settled for stroking his back and arm communicating her love
and support through simple touch. She could only imagine how he must
feel. Though she'd had her own share of nightmares over the Turns. She
knew he'd talk when he could deal with the emotions.

Resting his head against Jylanya's shoulder, Naton was slowly coming
back to his senses. "You and Vee and Tonya were there too, this time,"
he spoke in a soft, sub-dued voice. "And there was a tidal wave... it
washed everyone away."

"Oh love," she breathed and held him tighter. "We're alright," she
said. "We're all right here." Her nose twitched a little, "and I
believe your daughter has just loaded her nappy with proof she's
alright."

"I know, I know," Naton repeated, though his tone of voice indicated
he still had trouble shaking the images. Then he smiled a little, as
soon after the smell, little Tonya's voice pitched in for her 'proof'.
"I'll get her," he said, already getting up. He needed to feel his
little girl's wriggling fingers in his hand and see her disarming
smile to truly shake this nightmare.

Of course the moment she was picked up Tonya's cries turned off almost
instantly. Or rather the volume of her protests to her discomfort
reduced in volume. Jylanya lay back and chuckled. Though she couldn't
realize it yet, Tonya had her papa wrapped around those little fingers
of hers.

Naton was, by now, experienced enough in the changing ritual, that he
had the baby cleaned up and in a dry nappie in no time. The task did
put him in a better state of mind and he tickled her belly with a
smile, watching her giggle with fatherly pride. She was indeed quite
alright and happy and he felt chill from the dream slowly melt away.
He carried her to the bed, hoping she'd nod off beside both her
parents, so he could bring her back to bed without any fuss.

Jylanya watched with a little sigh of happiness. She'd never thought
even in her wildest dreams she'd someday have a husband she loved and
who loved her. She had been raised to work and take care of others.
She'd even been content with her lot. But now, the relationship she'd
never dreamed of had filled her life with not only a husband but two
beautiful daughters. She held her arms out as he climbed back into the
bed. One thing he couldn't know was that Tonya was very likely hungry.
But her breasts told her that. "Here," she smiled. "Give her to me."

"Here she comes," Naton said, gently placing his baby girl in
Jylanya's arms. "You are a lucky girl, you know," he confided in Tonya
as Jylanya set to her work, speaking in secretive whisper. "Those are
the best breasts on all of Pern." As the last echoes of his nightmare
ebbed away, Naton realized that perhaps one did never truly heal from
a loss like this, but you could find ways in which to make the burden
of it a lot easier to bear.

Last updated on the December 17th 2016

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Easier to Bear