I'm Sorry

Writers: Ames, Suzee
Date Posted: 25th July 2014

Characters: Danrina, Bryvin
Description: Bryvin wants to have his cake and eat it too
Location: Sunstone Seahold
Date: month 8, day 4 of Turn 7

Danrina

Bryvin

Dinner was almost finished and Bryvin sat at the head table with
several of the more important members of the hold families. He was
genial and accepting of his need to be on display as Sunstone's new
Lord Holder but he wasn't yet quite comfortable in the Role. He had
no Lady to order his everyday world and as a Steward hadn't really
needed one.

For the moment the merchant to his right was trying to bend his ear on
his plan for a plantation up river but he was only half listening with
an occasional nod while his eyes roamed the room and the other tables.
That was when he saw her looking straight at him.

He nodded again, but this time with a slight smile and to the young
lady who had caught his eye.

She'd been watching him almost the entire time. It was hard to imagine
that one day he was the Steward and it seemed like the next he was the
new Lord Holder. Things had been going well between them and Danrina
had had high hopes that Bryvin might help her reach her goal of
marriage and be rid of the bothersome pestering of her family. Would
he still be interested now? His entire life had changed, perhaps she
could change with him? These thoughts continued to run through her
head throughout the meal. And then, he looked at her and smiled.

That was all it took. Her eyes lit up and she returned his smile with
a slight playful wave of her fingers. She hoped to have a chance to
congratulate him herself later.

He almost chuckled but his smile broadened, before he turned back to
the merchant's boring drone. But within only half a candlemark he was
excusing himself and inviting his guests to remain and enjoy the
festivities. He made eye contact with her again and then turned to
exit the side of the hall where he stopped and spoke to one of the
Under Stewards and to wait for a moment to see if she followed.

How could she have missed his gaze. She'd been watching him closely
all night. When he caught her eye again, she noted the slight tilt of
his head as though inviting her to join him. **Why not?** she mused.
Just because he'd been named the new Lord Holder didn't mean she
couldn't still talk with him the way they had talked before.

Putting on a false smile to the people gathered at her table, she
thanked them for a nice evening, **boring one, you mean,** she mused,
and excused herself. She was soon heading towards the same door.

She smiled politely to those with him, looked directly at him and
moved out the door and away from the crowded room.

Bryvin finished his business a moment later and waived off another one
who came toward him as he followed her out the door. He saw her skirts
going around the corner down the hall and quickened his pace to catch
up with her.

Rounding the corner he saw her ahead and caught her elbow pulling her
into an alcove. "Danrina," he said looking down into her eyes. "I've
wanted to talk to you."

"Oh?" She inquired, her lips quirking up into a smile. She liked the
closeness of his presence. From the time she'd arrived here, she'd
been drawn to him.

"Sorry," he murmured letting go of her and putting on a diffident
air. "I didn't mean to come on so strong. It's just the Conclave took
an unexpected turn." His shoulders slumped slightly, "I didn't know
they would pick me."

She frowned at the change in his demeanor. Her hand reaching up to
rest lightly on his chest. They'd gotten close over the last months,
but this was by far the most intimately close they'd been. "Why are
you surprised? You'll make an excellent Lord Holder for Sunstone." She
smiled at him, but it wasn't as bright as before. She could sense
something was different. Perhaps now that he'd been named to such a
prominent position he wanted to tell her he wasn't interested in her
anymore. That thought was not a pleasant one. She tried to hold back
the thoughts that seemed to be swirling through her mind as she waited
for him to speak again.

"Thank you," he smiled down into her eyes. Then he took a deep breath.
"They have required me to marry almost immediately and to provide for
the succession in order to be made Lord Holder."

"Oh!" She replied, surprised, her eyes opening a bit wider. Was he
asking _her_ to fill that role? She waited with anticipation to see if
he _would_ ask.

He liked Danrina. She had a good head on her shoulders and was
pleasant company. She was a woman who was just a little rebellious
which could actually help him achieve his desired results. So he
smiled a little sadly, "I'm so sorry Danrina, but to make me Lord the
Conclave decreed I had to marry Lord Xelfin's daughter. I'm..." he
lifted his hands in a shrug, "sorry."

Her mouth opened and closed without a sound. Her face fell for a
second, before she pasted on a smile. She'd learned how to hide her
emotions well enough in the past. She'd let her guard down around him
and that is what had caught her by surprise. Still she was
disappointed. He'd been her best hope for achieving her own goal, and,
she'd come to like him more than she'd expected.

She shrugged, trying to make it seem as though his words didn't
matter. "It's fine. I understand." Though in the back of her mind, she
felt for a moment that she'd missed a great opportunity. She had seen
a glimpse of herself as Lady of the Hold, but no, that was not to be.
**Best to erase it from your mind, Danrina**, she told herself.

He saw the fallen hopes and knew what awaited her. "Danrina, I didn't
want this. I _don't_ want this," he said quietly. His hands went to
her shoulders. "It's not fine, I wish..." He took a deep breath and
his hands went to her face. Gazing deeply into her eyes for a moment
he bent down to give her a soft kiss.

"I wish I was free to marry who I want."

It was almost her undoing. His kiss brought tears welling up behind
her eyes. She wished he was free as well. Her lips returned his kiss
as her hand reached up to touch his cheek.

"I wish it too, Bryvin. I really do," she swallowed past the lump in
her throat. "But I guess what we have now, right here, will have to
come to an end." She couldn't hide the sadness in her eyes and on her
face. It had been a hope, but that hope was gone now. She wondered
what her life would be like now.

"Hey there," he said and gently wiped a tear away. Then he gathered
her to him gently and kissed the top of her head. "I don't want to,"
he said softly.

"But you have to," Danrina replied, "It's part of the bargain to be
holder. I just wish what we had didn't have to end. I'd," her voice
caught and she swallowed a bit. Her dreams were silly now, "I'd just
felt that maybe, well, if things had been different now, things
between us could have developed into something more." She made a
gesture to indicate pointing to them both as she spoke. She _did_ wish
things could be different, but it seemed that none of that was to be
now.

"Yes," he nodded. "I don't know how I can ever care for her like I do
for you." His eyes widened and he took a step back. "I'm sorry," he
said. "That was very unfair to you."

She reached a hand up and caught his wrist. "No, don't apologize. I'm
glad you said it. I may not be able to be your wife, but it's _good_
to know that someone actually cares for me." She pursed her lips at
that. Her whole life all she'd longed for was love, something she
never got from her own parents. And now as the moons would have it,
she'd found love but it was out of her grasp. Life was unfair.

"I wish it could be different," she murmured.

"I do... care," he said softly. "But it isn't fair to you to stay as
much as I might want to. But," he hesitated a moment before
continuing. "Will you have dinner with me tomorrow night. Just you and
me."

She was a little confused by it all. He still wanted to spend time with
her, though he'd told her that there could be no future for them
together there. Still, he was one of the few people she'd grown close
to since arriving, so even a friendly dinner would be welcome.

"Of course," she replied. She didn't feel the need for a chaperone,
not with Bryvin. She'd come to trust him over the time she'd been at
Sunstone.

He smiled gently and brought her hand to his lips. "Tomorrow then," he
said. Then turned to leave the alcove and stride down the hall. A tiny
smirk raised one corner of his mouth.

Last updated on the July 29th 2014

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I'm Sorry