Your hand, your dreams

Writers: AL, Ames
Date Posted: 19th March 2013

Characters: Faldrimme, Zathris
Description: Zathris informs Faldrimme of an offer and her true wishes and dreams are finally known.
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 12, day 20 of Turn 6
Notes: Mentioned: Benani, Royan (Not by name)

Faldrimme

Zathris

"Faldrimme, a word." Zathris caught the girl in the middle of the
hallway. His smile was warm and his words lacked any sort of
firmness. He held out his arm for the young woman to take, then
indicated she should do so and walk with him.

"Lord Zathris," Faldrimme greeted him, then with a smile added,
"Uncle. Whatever you need." She followed him with ease, having spent
enough time with him to know whatever it was was never bad. She liked
Zathris very much. He was a great Lord Holder and led his people well.

"I hope the day finds you well." Zathris walked through the hallway,
leading his niece at an easy pace. There was no point in rushing
anywhere.

"Oh very much," Faldrimme replied. She's spent much of the morning
outside with the beasts, assisting as much as she was_allowed_ to.

Thankfully her father was one such man who would give anything for his
daughter, so she got away with doing much more than she should have.

"And you? How is Aunt Benani and the boys?"

"We are all doing well. The boys are growing like weeds." He smiled
and then gazed down at the young beauty that walked beside him.
"Faldrimme...I've had an offer."

"An offer?" She asked, her brow wrinkling in confusion. She turned her
head to look at him as they walked, "An offer for what?" She couldn't
fathom why he would share the business of the Hold with her in anyway.

"An offer for your hand in marriage." Zathris kept the pace slow and
lazy, he'd cleared some time so he could talk to her without having to
do so quickly. "A holder on the edge of Amber Hills lands - not part
of us, but wanting to make an alliance."

She stumbled as his words left her feeling rather stunned. **Marriage?
Oh no.** Faldrimme wanted to groan out loud at the very thought of it.
At least here her father allowed her to care for and handle the
animals, but if she was_married_, she was sure such privileges would

not be given her by her new husband. "Oh, I see," she finally replied,
her tone a bit measured and polite. **Please no,** her mind wanted to
scream, but all her years of training had her holding back such
thoughts before they could escape.

Zathris reached out with his other hand to help catch Faldrimme. He
frowned as he gauged her reaction and then motioned. "Come, let's go
to my office." He turned down a connecting hallway and led her down.
He opened the door to his office once they arrived and urged her to
enter before he did so himself. The door was closed behind him and he
indicated a chair before he moved around the desk to sit in his own.
"I need to know what your feelings are on this request, Faldrimme."

She was finding it harder to breathe than she imagined. She'd known a
day like this would come, but she'd hoped it never would.

"M'lord, duty says that I would do whatever you asked of me,"
Faldrimme replied. She wanted to say something else entirely, but her
upbringing had at least taught her what was and wasn't appropriate for
a girl of her status.

Zathris eyebrow arched upward. He leaned against his desk then
crossed his arms over his chest. "Faldrimme, I didn't ask what duty
dictated to me, I asked for your feelings on the matter. Your honest
feelings. Is this something you would want?"

She couldn't look him in the eyes. Silence seemed to settle around
them as she bit on her bottom lip, wondering what her father would say
if she spoke the truth. **He wouldn't care and you know it,** she told
herself. She'd known all along that her father had had dreams as well,
and had felt crushed by responsibility and_duty_. Now, however, life

had worked out well for him. She dared only hope the same for herself.

"No," she whispered, shaking her head back and forth, her eyes
downcast. She swallowed with difficulty, then looked up. "It's not
that I don't want to marry, though, I don't right now,
but...I...well..." She dropped her face into her hands. **What have
you done now?**

The reaction was more than what Zathris had expected. It took him off
guard, but then he crouched down in front of the girl and looked up at
him. "Faldrimme, talk to me. If you don't want to consider this
proposal, I'm not going to push it. But there's something bothering
you. Tell me."

**Oh Shaffit, you've done it now,** she chided herself. She hadn't
_meant_ to blather on that way and now she'd gotten herself into a bit
of a spot.

"I'm sorry m'lord. I didn't mean to be so forceful. I..." she closed
her eyes wanting to groan aloud. What was she to tell him? She wanted
to be a beastcrafter not a wife? He'd outright laugh in her face,
wouldn't he? Besides she knew it was her duty to marry and have
children. What was she supposed to say now? She stared at him,
blankly, trying to fathom what she_wanted_ to say with what she knew
she_should_ say.

"Faldrimme, you trust me right?" Zathris reached out and placed a
hand upon the young woman's shoulder. "You can tell me anything. I'm
not going to force you into a marriage you don't want. I'm not
like...well, like a lot of men." Like a lot of holders. Like certain
holders that, though he had respected, he didn't necessarily agree
with them on everything. Forcing women into marriages they had no say
in was one of them.

She swallowed and drew in another shaky breath as she nodded. "It's
_not_ that I don't want to marry." She paused, "I_do_, but I've

always had other dreams, too, and well, if I leave here I can't even
pretend those dreams could come true anymore." She looked to her uncle
imploringly. "I know they_can't_ come true, but I know my dreams will

end completely if I marry now."

Dreams. How many young women had dreams that they had been unable to
fulfill? The south was cruel to those of the gentler sex, but Zathris
had seen and known enough women in his short life to know they were
just as capable. "Tell me your dreams, Faldrimme. I'm all ears."

She looked to her uncle and gave a sad smile. "It's silly, really,"
she started. Then, knowing he would at least hear how out, though he
couldn't change the way of things, she finally spit out her dream to
someone other than her sister. "I want to be a crafter. A beastcrafter
really, and well, I know it can't happen, but I_love_ the animals

more than anything. Here, I at least get to interact with them as much
as I want as father is there, but somewhere else,_with_ someone else,

I wouldn't have that freedom anymore."

Now that wasn't what Zathris had expected. He'd thought maybe
Faldrimme had fallen in love with someone, someone that she had
thought her father or Zathris himself wouldn't approve of. But to
craft? He knew she loved animals, but he'd never realised how deeply
that love had gone. "I see." He stated slowly, one hand rubbing at
his jaw. "Wow. I had no idea, Faldrimme."

She looked at him, frowning, and then added softly. "I'm sorry. I
shouldn't have said anything." She'd kept it secret for so long. Now,
she wasn't sure she wanted her secret known. People would laugh at her
and call her foolish, for foolish she was. "If you need me to marry, I
can," she whispered softly, turning her eyes down to her lap with a
heavy sigh.

"Not if it's something you don't want." Zathris shook his head. He
leaned against his desk and crossed his arms over his chest. This did
create a problem. She wanted to craft, but most of the crafts didn't
allow women and the one she wanted certainly didn't. He reached up to
run a hand through his hair. Zathris wasn't like a good portion of
the holders, though. "Well, that leaves two options."

Faldrimme looked up at him and blinked. "It does?" She couldn't fathom
what the two options were that he was considering. **Marriage or not
marriage?** She wondered. **Or is he thinking of something else?**

"I take that back. Three options. You can stay here, go North and
Craft, or go to a Weyr and craft." To be honest, the two options that
allowed her to craft weren't his first choice, but women just didn't
have the opportunities that men did in the Holds, but Zathris wanted
her to have the options.

"Oh," her face fell a bit. "I don't want to go North and I definitely
don't want to go to the Weyr." Faldrimme shook her head at those
ideas. She loved the dragons, but the idea of life there just did not
appeal to her at all. She had known that there was no real hope for
her dreams.

"It's alright. I've always known that I cannot do what I dream of.
Since I cannot have that, I will accept that my place is as some man's
wife," the sparkle from her eyes had dimmed slightly at those words.
It was as she'd always known it would be. Now, it appeared it was time
to put aside her girlish dreams and accept her responsibilities.

"Well then, maybe your dream isn't so important to you after all."
Zathris arched an eyebrow as he gazed down at the young woman. "It
must not be what your heart truly desires."

She wanted to cry right then and there. "What's the point of having a
dream that I_know_ can't come true. Do I leave everything and

everyone I know to go North just to craft? I couldn't imagine leaving
everything behind and disappointing the people I love so much." She
was upset as she felt as though no matter what she did she wouldn't,
_couldn't_ ever be truly happy.

"What about to one of the Weyrs? Those aren't so far and you can
craft there." Zathris shook his head. He hated the fact that society
made women feel that way, that the only way to keep from disappointing
their families was to have a husband and bear children. "Look, why
don't you just visit, see what it's like. And there would be family
there. Cousin Lirit is at Dragonsfall, my brother Z'lred is at River
Bluff, I've got cousins at Dolphin Cove. Take your pick. You can
visit for a while, look around. If you don't like it, you can come
back. If you do, then you can craft."

Faldrimme paused. She'd never_really_ thought about going to a Weyr.

It seemed so strange, so foreign, but how could she pass up this
opportunity. It was the Weyr or know she would never follow her
dreams.

"Alright," she replied, with a nod of her head. "I need to talk to
Father. He doesn't know any of this, and I_want_ to talk to him

first. Hopefully he'll agree." She didn't want to think about having
to defy him, but in the end it was_her_ life to live.

Last updated on the March 23rd 2013

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Your hand, your dreams