No Way Out

Writers: AL, Ames
Date Posted: 1st October 2011

Characters: Wirnan, Kaya
Description: Wirnan finds out about the diagnosis, but things don't go well between him and Kaya.
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 4, day 1 of Turn 6

Wirnan

Wirnan rushed into the room the moment he'd finished talking with the
healer. All he knew was that Kaya was alright and would be fine, but
the man did not reveal much else. Leave to the healers to stick to some
strange code of not sharing with anyone put the patient.

He stopped just inside the door.

"Are you alright now, then?" He asked, glancing over to where she
rested on the bed. "The healer said you would be fine, but he didn't
tell me much. Was it something you ate?" Wirnan thought about that,
though, and realized she hadn't really eaten much at all. He didn't
come further into the room, knowing things between them had been on
shaky ground since the storm. He'd make sure she was okay and then
leave her be if that was what she desired. "Can I get you anything?"

**My life back?** Kaya thought at the question posed her to. **The
way it was before Ristin died? Before anything happened.
Before...before _this_? Kaya couldn't voice those thoughts though. She
had taken to clutching one of the pillows, knuckles white at the tight
grasp.

What was she going to do? Her plans were ruined. She had thought that
she would escape in the Spring, the knowledge she'd gained from
Wirnan's sister about the caravans making things so much easier. But
it had been too easy! Now she has pregnant, all because she had let her
flesh get the better of her! She couldn't run, not with a baby. A
baby! How could she do what she needed to do with a child?

She offered no answer to Wirnan. She tried, Kaya's mouth opened but no
words escaped. Instead, she began to cry again, tears falling like
thread, sparkling over her eylashes and tracing down her cheeks, their
path made easier by the ones that had graced her face earlier.

Her tears tugged at his heart. He moved closer, though he didn't
approach all the way. She'd hardly accepted the slightest touch from
him in so many days, he didn't want to set her off further. "Maybe you
should just rest for a bit," he said softly. "I'm sure you'll feel
better once you do." He wanted to offer her more comfort, wanted to
make her tears go away, but he couldn't force himself to do it. He knew
it would only upset her further and _that_ was not the outcome he
desired.

Feel better? How could she feel better? Everything was ruined! She was
stuck! Stuck! With a child she hadn't planned! "I'm...I'm..." She
stuttered and stammered, trying to get the words out. Kaya didn't
_want_ to be pregnant. She wanted to be free! She needed to be free!
This only made things worse! Only solidified the fact that she had
betrayed Ristin! "I'm...I'm pregnant!" She finally spat out.

It was like a punch to the stomach the way the words were delivered.
His jaw nearly dropped to the floor as he stood there, staring at her.
He blinked repeatedly trying to make sure he wasn't imaging things.
"You're pregnant?" He whispered, having a hard time grasping how this
could have happened when he'd thought she was barren. "But how?"

Kaya sat up then, that tear streaked face turned toward him, anger
twisting her features. She picked up the pillow and flung it at him,
shouting, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN HOW?"

He didn't duck or move for he was still a bit stunned by her
announcement. The pillow struck him in the chest, but Wirnan simply let
it fall to the ground. He was still gazing at her with a look that was
hard to read. "I mean...I meant..." he blinked and told himself to get
control. "I thought you couldn't have children. The way we talked
before..." his voice trailed off.

Kaya blinked, then looked away, her expression hard. "I never said I
couldn't have children." How would she have been able to know? She'd
never had a husband before, never _tried_ have children. She was
supposed to have been married, just not to Wirnan. She was supposed to
have had children, just not with Wirnan. Except now everything was
wrong. Her plan had somehow twisted and changed and nothing was going
like it should have! "I just didn't _want_ children."

His face fell. He wanted to be excited about the news she had just
shared with him, but he couldn't. Not like this. He _did_ feel that
slight flutter of something inside him to know that he might still one
day be a father, but did he want it with _her_, like _this_?

"I see. You mean you didn't want children with me," his tone was soft,
almost sad. "You needed a way to get away from your father and I was
it. I was never meant to be anything more for you than your escape."
Wirnan turned then and left the room. He didn't want to face her, to
talk to her. He sank onto the sofa, trying to sort out his own thoughts
and feelings that had taken a bit of a ride in the past candlemark.

Kaya's teeth clenched at each other and she didn't bother to look at him
when he left. He was right. She didn't want a baby with _him_. She
wasn't supposed to be married to Wirnan. She was supposed to be gone,
but he had ruined that and...and...oh shaffit! Kaya threw herself back
onto the bed and began to weep. Now she was stuck, stuck in a place
she didn't want to be with a man she didn't want and who didn't want
her. And there was no way out of it.

Last updated on the October 27th 2011

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No Way Out