A Dragon's Memory

Writers: Paula, Len
Date Posted: 15th March 2011

Characters: T'bel, E'naer
Description: The two green riders are feeling pensive on the evening after a Fall and talk about their early years in the Weyr
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 13, day 23 of Turn 5
Notes: Mentioned: Wodi, G'wen, G'nir, H'tis

"You look pensive tonight!" T'bel said as he flopped into the empty seat beside E'naer. "The Weyrlings okay?" He scanned his brain, but couldn't remember if any of the senior ones had been hurt in Threadfall today.

"Oh, they are. I just had a shift at the dragon infirmary after the Fall," E'naer replied and lifted his tankard for the fellow greenrider.

"Yeah? Anyone in bad shape?" His wing had come back in one piece but shards knew how the others were. But then again, G'nir was a good wingleader.

"A one really close one," he shook his head. The case had brought back to memories of his own close call.

Seeing the look on his face, T'bel quietly asked, "anyone we know?"

"A young greenrider named H'tis, I don't know if you know him, but he was one of my weyrlingsclasses a turn ago," E'naer stared the insides of his tankard glumly.

"I know H'tis." He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "He's a sweet boy. Bloody Thread."

"Yeah," E'naer sighed. "It hard to see them hurt when you still remember them as they walked out of Hatching Sands, full of joy and pride."

"Yeah, before they know what they're really in for." His mind slipped back to when he was one of those boys, bouncing out with a tiny Fanth in tow. In a quiet voice, he asked, "how's G'wen and Neath doing?" A shadow crossed his face at the thought of those two badly injured.

"Just fine, considering she's one sharding little queen who doesn't listen to anyone," E'naer replied and actually smiled.

"Well, it's better than if he was one sharding little queen who doesn't listen to anyone." T'bel chuckled a bit at that thought.

"Oh, G'wen's a good boy," E'naer said.

"Yeah, I know. He's got a good head on his shoulders. Nothing like how I was! I'm still shocked that Fanth and I are still here, to be honest." The smile he had on his face at the thought of bossy little Neath and his weyrmate's son slipped.

"Well, you are here and intact," E'naer replied and gave his shoulder a pat.

"Thanks to you!" T'bel ducked his head into E'naer's shoulder, thankful of the day that the man came into his life.

"Always glad to be of help," the older greenrider did sound bit smug.

T'bel laughed at his tone and mock punched him. "No, really. All those turns ago, thanks. I think I would have been lost without you helping me through all that..." He gave a delicate shudder, thinking about his life as a young Weyrling.

"Hey, I've had my rough spots too, which makes it easier to help," E'naer said symphatically.

"Yeah? Care to expand on that?" He sat up, interested to know if E'naer had been through as terrible a period as he had when Fanth had first Risen.

"Did you know I'm actually a holdbred? It's rather rare in my generation. Well, I was fifteen, living in Opal Cove and I made the mistake of confessing my attraction to my friend," E'naer told him.
"He beat me up. Not as badly as that boy in Amber Hills. I got off with only bloody nose and bruises," he continued. He stopped to take a drink. "My mother, wise woman she is, sent me here with first trader caravan heading this way."

T'bel raised his glass in a silent tribute to Einna, E'naer's mother. She and his mother worked together most days in the lower caverns. "Yes, I'm lucky there, at least we lived in such a small Hold that if you tried to pick on someone else, you would have gotten it pretty quick." He stared into his wine glass for a moment, feeling pensive. What would have happened to him if he had never come to the Weyr, never Impressed Fanth? "It's strange, isn't it? Impressing is the one thing everyone wants, but no one really thinks about what it all means. Y'know, the Flights, Threadscore...your friends dying. What would have happened to us if we hadn't come to the Weyr?"

"I sometimes wondered if I would had apprenticed to healers if I had stayed in the hold. Most likely I would have ended up drudge," E'naer said.

"I would have been a jockey, no doubt there." His parents had raised fast runners when he was a child, before his father died some turns back and his mother and baby brother had come to the Weyr. "I was more thinking of the gay issue. That boy at Amber Hills...are there any plans to bring him here? Glad to see finally a Holder does something about this, and we can always use a future blue or green candidate. Wonder if G'nir would let one or both of us go and talk to him?"

"I don't know. As I understood it, he's still recovering from his injuries. Perhaps it comes up after he is on his feet again," E'naer replied.

"Poor kid. It's a harsh world we live in, eh?"

"Yes, it is. Sometimes I wish I had dragon's memory," E'naer sighed.

"Ah, now you're talking!" T'bel sat back to think about that. "Yes, that would be brilliant. All those horrible first Flights gone, no memories of them ever again! Y'know, Manarth_didn't_catch Fanth this last time and waking up to someone that wasn't G'waren...it just brought it all back..."

E'naer gave his hand an encouraging squeeze. "I'm all ears if you want to talk about it."

T'bel blinked back some tears and took a sip of his wine. "Well, it was just...y'know, those first couple of turns after we Impressed, all those horrible Flights. I used to cry every time Fanth showed any sign of Rising. I hated it, hated the whole bloody thing. Still don't like it much, and now? Now I know that Manarth's not going to be able to catch Fanth every time, this next one I'm really dreading. What am I going to do?"

"You just have to learn to enjoy it or at least to live with it. Remember, it's Fanth's choice, her moment, not yours. You are just dragged along the ride, so it has nothing to do with _you_," E'naer tried to explain to the younger one how to distance himself from the mating flight. "There really isn't any other way. A good partner helps a great deal, but we all those flights we would rather forget." Shards, he had had his share of bronzeriders or brownriders freaking out when they woke up and saw who the greenrider was.

"I'd as soon forget all of them. They're too rough and I don't like_that_sort of sex to begin with." He shuddered, thinking of all the pain involved. Even when the winning partner was his weyrmate, he still found it painful.

E'naer pulled the younger man closer to a comforting hug.

"Girl! Don't you dare, you'll make me cry!" T'bel let himself be hugged for a moment before pulling away. He laughed and made a face at E'naer before taking another sip of his drink. "But for all that...that's why I was so obnoxious about G'wen losing his virginity_before_he Impressed and not on the day that Neath first Flies. There's enough of us scarred around here, why add another to the list?"

"That's always a good policy. I took care of that too before Impressing Eillispeth," E'naer said.

"You've always been a sensible one!" T'bel teased the older man, mock punching him on the arm. "Everyone told me to take care of that but I was too stupid to pay attention...so now I get turns and turns of being almost raped. Great, eh?"

"You need a drink," E'naer just said. What else he could say? Sometimes he just didn't have the right words.

"I need more than a drink," the smaller man mumbled. He leaned his head against the man's shoulder, shutting his eyes for a moment of quiet and peace. "I need Fanth's memory."

Last updated on the March 21st 2012

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A Dragon's Memory