U'kaiah and the girl

Writers: Eimi, Suzee
Date Posted: 21st September 2010

Characters: U'kaiah, Kerinna
Description: U'kaiah and Kerinna meet to talk about what happened in the Queen flightroom
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 11, day 3 of Turn 5

U'kaiah's leg was shaking under the table as he waited for the young
woman to show. He hadn't been this nervous taking to a girl since he
was a kid. And never for this reason. Letting out a long sigh, he
laced his fingers on top of the table and continued to wait.

She stood in the doorway of the common room her heart beating like a
harpers drum. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths to try
and calm down. She didn't need to be afraid she knew that but the
vtols in her stomach didn't want to settle down. There were people
across the room, but she was close to panic. Finally she grit her
teeth and took a step toward the table where he sat. She could get
through this she kept telling herself.

She put one foot in front of the other and crossed the room to stand
behind the chair opposite him, grey eyes fixed on his face. "You
wanted to see me Wingleader?" she asked in a soft voice. She grasped
the back of the chair to stop her hands from shaking.

The bronzerider rose to his feet at the sound of the girl's voice. He
really looked at her face for the first time. Shards, she looked young.
"Yes, please. I mean... Yes, thank you." Indicated the chair she
held he asked, "Won't you sit down?"

She nodded and moved around the chair and smoothed her skirt under her
as she lowered herself into the seat. She crossed her ankles and folded
her hands in her lap. Sitting with her back straight she looked at the
table top.

He sat down across from her and folded his hands on the table once more.
"Your name is Kerinna?"

"Yes Sir," she said and her eyes rose to his chin before sinking back
to his hands folded on the table between them. She didn't know why he
wanted this meeting but as much as it scared her she didn't feel she
should refuse.

"U'kaiah, please," he said, not liking the formality of the word 'sir'.
It added to the tension somehow. "First, I can only say that I am
extremely sorry for what happened. I know it's really no consolation to
you, and certainly it can't erase what happened. But for what it's
worth, I deeply regret my actions, and I hope that you would believe me
that such a thing has never happened to me before. I've been with many
women after a Flight, and I've never... hurt anyone."

"U'kaiah" she repeated. His tone wasn't what she expected. But then
she didn't really know what she expected. Certainly not an apology.
Looking at him now he didn't have that wild and well... he didn't look
as scary as he had in the flight room. She screwed up her courage
apologies didn't fix everything. "You hurt _me_." she stated flatly.

"I know. And I'm deeply ashamed that I did." He wished there was some
way to go back to that moment and change everything for her, but there
was no way to do that. "I honestly don't know what happened. My
lifemate and I were both upset at the outcome, the dragonlust was
stronger than usual since it was a gold flight. When you started
pushing me, I didn't understand why, and it just made me angry on top of
everything else. I lost control. It's no excuse, but that's what
happened."

"So you're saying its _my_ fault you got angry?"

"No," he quickly assured her. "That's not what I'm saying. I'm trying
to explain from my point of view what happened. Obviously something
went very wrong, and I'm trying to understand what that something was so
it never happens again."

She sat back in her chair crossing her arms over her chest. "I wish I
understood it too." she paused for a moment "I'm hold raised." she
said "But I've been in a flight room before." she leaned forward. "You
scared me."

That much he had known. "I don't know how I did that. I've never
scared a girl before."

Her jaw worked not willing to believe him. She'd heard the same from
others who'd talked to her. She shook her head slightly at the memory
of how he'd looked when he turned from the Weyrwoman. "It started the
moment you turned away from her. You don't know how you looked." Her
voice was soft and vision turned inward eyes haunted. She shivered
slightly in reaction.

"No, I don't. In that moment I'm still not even completely me. In a
green flight when it's over, it's easy to come back to myself. But when
a gold rises, especially the Senior Queen, it takes a while to separate
who I am from Kalamath. I don't know what I look like in that moment."
He had never even thought about it until now. When the Flight ended,
all he could feel was frustration, emotional and sexual, both his own
and his dragons, all mixed together in a thick soup of emotions.

From what everyone told her he was well liked and they didn't
understand what had happened any more than he did apparently. But none
of that took away anything that had happened in that room. " I've
heard that a gold flight was more powerful than a green. I thought it
would be exciting. I thought you would be exciting. I saw others turn
from that flight. I saw their faces, they were full of passion that
needed relief. But..." tears formed in her eyes. She closed them to
blink them away, she was not going to cry. "You were angry... rough,
not like the others at all."

"Mine came closer than any of theirs. Most of them didn't have a
chance. I was a heartbeat away from having everything." He _should_
have had anything. G'nir had better know that Kalamath will always be a
breath behind his bronze. "Not everyone who loses a Flight just feels
the need for sex. Sometimes there's more going on. I'm sorry you
didn't get one of them. But you have to know when you stand in that
circle, it's not always a fun romp, for either one of you. Sometimes
you get me."

"I'm sorry I didn't get one of them too." her voice rose in volume and
she pushed her chair back to stand. "This was a wherry hunt and I
shouldn't have come. But if I catch U'kaiah," she spat his name. "You
will _personally_ give me the short ride between. I'm not bringing
your brat into the world." she turned to go uncaring of the startled
eyes now fixed on them from across the room.

The bronzerider almost stood up to stop her, but what good would it do?
There was nothing he could say to her to make her believe that he was
not the scary man she met in the Flight room. She wasn't ready to see
him as anything other than a monster.

Last updated on the September 25th 2010

Welcome to Triad Weyrs!

U'kaiah and the girl