Wherefore Art Thou, My Love?

Writers: Ames, Eimi
Date Posted: 11th August 2010

Characters: Shadux, Rokera, Hamalda
Description: Shadux goes in search of his dream woman. He is surprised by what he finds.
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 10, day 13 of Turn 5

Stepping off onto the dock, Shadux gave a quick nod of thanks to the man
tying the boat off to the dock, but his eyes were already scanning the
line of cots built along the river bank. The girl had said she was
going to the small hold at the bend in the river just outside Amber
Hill's great valley. He was sure this was the Minor Hold she had been
meaning, since he knew the river well and could think of no other place
that fit her description so well. Now the question was, how to find
this girl.

The most obvious way would be to just start asking people if they knew
of a girl who matched her description, but people loved to talk and make
assumptions. He thought it better to ask people in a round about way.
And he knew just who would have the kind of information he wanted.

Walking down the row of cots, he saw a little group of women sitting on
the porch of a rather old, but well loved cot, and knew he had found the
perfect source of information. No one knew more about the comings and
going of people than the little aunties who had nothing better to do
with themselves but sit, watch, listen and pass on all the gossip they
could gather.

Shadux greeted them politely, made a comment about the weather,
explained that he was up from the main hold on business for the
Headwoman and allowed them to grill him for information about his work
and his family. They were duly impressed with his being the son of the
former steward and listened politely as they told him about how they had
seen his father and grandfather at the summer Gathers in their youth and
so forth. When he felt he had paid his due, he finally asked if they
happened to know if a vintner traveling with a young lady might have
stopped off at their Hold. He had been on the same boat, he explained,
and thought it only polite to pay his respects to them both.

As he suspected, they had known exactly who he had been talking about,
and with knowing smiles that made him wonder if they couldn't see right
through his motives, they directed him towards the end of the row of
cots. They even graciously provided him with names - Mengal and
Rokera.
Shadux grew impatient to move on, but found it quite a challenge to
extract himself from their clutches. He was saved by the site of a
young woman walking straight down the row from the very direction he had
been told to look for her. Shadux knew her in an instant, and with a
quick nod of thanks, hurried down the way to meet her.

"Excuse me, but I think I might have met you a few days ago." Shards,
he hoped she remembered him!

Rokera looked up at the sound of a voice. "Oh," she said with a
friendly smile, "Good morning." Rokera shifted the basket she carried
in her arms as she titled her head at him contemplating who he might
be.

Suddenly her face brightened into an even greater smile, if that was
possible, as recognition dawned. "You're the boy from the boat! I
remember you. What brings you here?" Rokera couldn't help but admire
his height as she looked up to him. She caught the way the sun seemed
to make the red and blonde highlights in his hair almost sparkle.

Shadux hadn't been called "boy" for a while, but he was just glad she
remembered him! "I'm here on Amber Hills Hold business. Here, that
looks heavy. Please allow me," he said, reaching for the basket.

"Oh, thank you," Rokera said, smiling as she handed the basket over to
him. It was full of supplies that she was taking to a friend down the
road. Rokera gestured for him to walk with her. "I'm Rokera. I'd love
to know the name of the person who so kindly lifted my burden." She
pondered what kind of Hold business he might be on. They'd only spoken
a bit on the boat, and not enough for her to glean much about him.
"Are you sure you time? I don't want to keep you from your business."

"I have plenty of time. I have to wait for the boat to take me back
down river anyway." He was certainly in no rush now. Her smile
seemed
to light up her face so prettily, he almost forgot that she had wanted
his name. "Oh, I'm Shadux, by the way. I'm a Assistant Steward at
the
Hold."

"Oh," Rokera started, "you must be here on important business then."
She assumed that anyway, from his 'title.' "I'm just delivering a few
items to a friend. Come with me." She directed him to follow her up to
a small cot. Knocking on the door, she waited until someone came.

When the door opened, a fairly old woman smiled kindly from the
inside. "Ah, Rokera. Did you bring me the foodstuffs?"

"Yes, Hamalda. Here they are." She gestured for Shadux to walk with
her inside at Hamalda's welcoming gesture. "I even found someone to
help me carry them," Rokera added with a bit of a lilt to her voice.
"Mengal's a bit busy today or I'm sure he would have stopped by
himself." Having helped unload the basket,

Rokera was ready to lead Shadux back out, when the older woman stopped
her and asked if she would be so kind as to help her with some of her
laundry. "Of course, I wouldn't mind, Hamalda. Here, we'll just put it
in the basket here." Once everything was loaded up, Rokera bid the
woman a good day and led Shadux back outside.

"Hamalda is one of the oldest living here in our little space of land.
She is a very sweet lady." Rokera gestured to the basket. "I'm sure
you didn't come here to help launder some clothes." Rokera expected
him to hand over the basket and be about his task, even though part of
her wished he'd offer to join her by the river-side. It would be nice
to have some company.

"Well, you might have to show me what to do. I'm afraid I'm rather
useless when it comes to women's work. But I can carry well enough,"
he
added, lifting the basket to show the burden was nothing. And he would
bake, sew, scrub floors even if it meant a few more minutes in her
company. "Hamalda seems to know you well. You were born here, I take
it?"

Rokera practically beamed at the thought of having Shadux's company
while she went about her daily chores. She couldn't imagine what his
work must have been to bring him here, but she wasn't going to
complain for a spot of company.

"Actually, no. I wasn't born here, but I've lived here for most of my
life. Hamalda used to teach me the things I needed to know, before she
found most of those tasks too difficult. Now I do what I can to help
her." Rokera thought of Hamalda almost like a mother, since her own
had passed on when she was very young. That was when she and her
father had moved here in the first place.

"Follow me. We'll just head over there." She pointed towards a spot
between a few trees near the water's edge. "It's my favorite spot."
She smiled a bit shyer this time. Not many people spent time with her
relaxing in her private little place. Not even Mengal. He was often
too busy for such trivial things.

Her kindness towards an old woman in need just added to her list of
charms in Shadux's mind. And that smile... He'd wash laundry with
her
all day if she'd keep that smile turned on him like that. Shadux cast
his eyes around the place that she claimed to be special to her, and he
could see the beauty in it, but it wasn't the scene that captivated his
attention. "It's lovely."

"It is lovely, isn't it?" Rokera said, thinking he was referring to
her special place. She turned and happened to catch him looking her
way. She tried not to think too much of it. He was just here, offering
her his help, which she found rather gentlemanly.

"I've come here since I was a girl. It was my place to go when I
wanted to be alone, or to think about things. I've not invited many
people to join me here before," Rokera glanced at him. He would
probably think her foolish. It really wasn't a special place. In fact,
many people frequented this area of the riverbanks, but to her it had
always been special.

Reaching into the basket, she pulled out one of the garments and moved
towards the water's edge. Dipping the garment in, she called back.
"Could you bring me the scrub brush that Hamalda gave us?"

**I've not invited many people to join me here before...** The words
echoed in his mind as he hurried to do as she asked. Did that mean he
was special? That she liked him too? He handed her the brush and
wished their hands would brush against each others, but considering the
long handle, it was hardly likely. Sharding brush.

"Thank you," she said when he handed her the brush. Rokera began
scrubbing the garment, dipping it in the water and scrubbing it again.
She chanced a glance over to Shadux to see what he was doing as she
finished the dress.

Shadux realized he had been starring when she looked his way. Smiling,
he shrugged slightly. "I really don't know how to help you here. You
have to tell me what I'm supposed to be doing."

Rokera could have sworn he'd been looking at her before she'd glanced
his way.

"Why don't you bring over the rest of the items in the basket, and,"
she paused wringing out the dress she'd been laundering. "Could you
hang this one over one of the branches so it can dry." Rokera held out
the dripping dress to Shadux, her eyes alight with a bit of amusement
thinking of him carrying it to its destination.

"All right." He brought the rest of the clothes to her and carefully
took the garment from her hands, surprised at the weight. "It's
heavier
than I thought. Are you sure the branch will hold with all this on
it?"

"Thank you, Shadux," Rokera said as he brought her the other items.
"If you put the dress on one of the sturdier branches, it should
hold." She turned back to her work while he took the dress in his
hands. Rokera would love to socialize more, but she needed to get her
tasks accomplished first. After scrubbing and dunking the few garments
into the river, she sat back and looked over at Shadux.

"I think we're done," she said with a smile. "Thank you for your help.
Looks like I've got a bit more free time than I would have had had I
been doing this by myself."

"Do you want to sit for a minute, then?" Shadux asked, gesturing towards
the river bank. He wasn't ready to lose this precious time alone with
her just yet.

"I think that we've earned that," Rokera said sweetly to him. Then
rising, she moved back from the water's edge a bit and took a seat
under the shade of a nearby tree. She gestured for Shadux to come over
and join her.

He did so willingly, sitting as close as propriety would allow. Her
eyes almost looked a different shade of blue when not seen in the
sunlight. Resisting the urge to stare deeply into them, he looked
instead out across the view their little quiet spot could afford.
"It's not often I get time in the middle of the day to sit out in the
shade."

"You should make more time for it." She said with a light laugh. "It
helps you re-focus on all the other things. Just taking a few minutes
for yourself. Sometimes I feel guilty sitting here, knowing there is
so much to be done, but," Rokera paused, then sitting up a bit, she
pointed over towards the river. "Look!" A little creature was swooping
along the
river. It's glide graceful and beautiful. "Those are the things that
remind me how much I love my home and the world around me. It's nice
to take a moment now and again to simply enjoy their beauty." She
turned towards him with a smile, finding herself looking directly into
his eyes. Rokera blinked and turned back to look out at the river.

"I think that shows a great deal of wisdom. It's not often people
appreciate the little things around them." He wondered why she had
looked away so quickly. Was she just being modest?

For the first time, Rokera felt as though perhaps this whole little
private meeting had not been such a good idea. When she'd looked into
his eyes, she'd felt a flicker of wonder. But it could not be, and she
knew it.

"Perhaps I should get these things back to Hamalda," Rokera said
quickly, feeling almost a hint worried that if she sat here too long
with him, she would think on things better left unknown. She knew the
garments weren't dry, but it was the best excuse she could think of.
She knew it was a weak excuse, but she also didn't know how else to
handle things now that she had felt that strange flutter in her heart.

Shadux was disappointed that their time together went so quickly, but he
definitely wanted to get to know this girl better! "My business brings
me here from time to time. Maybe I can help you again?" he asked
hopefully.

Rokera looked at him, noting his youthful face once more. Her mind
seemed to wonder, full of what ifs. But another face filled her
minds-eye and she felt a deep feeling of happiness when she saw it.

"You have been so kind to help my Shadux. I could not take you away
from your important work. Besides," Rokera added, "I do not think
Mengel would approve of my wasting the time of someone of your
import." Rokera had begun to take some of the laundered items down
from their branches and fold them, placing them back into the basket.

"I'm not that important," he assured her as he helped her take the
clothes from the branches. "I don't mind helping. Really. Besides,
I'd really like the chance to get to know you better, Rokera. I... I
like you."

Rokera's eyes opened wide as she froze where she stood, looking at
him. It was more the way he had said that clued her into what he
meant.

"Oh, Shadux, I..." she started and stopped, "I don't think that would
be a good idea after all," she added quietly, wishing it did not have
to be so, but knowing that she could not ever do anything to hurt
Mengel. "I'm to be married in just two short sevendays," she said
these words and felt the combination of doubt and excitement at the
thought. Had her actions today given him the wrong impression? Would
Mengel be upset? No, she knew he would not. He knew her friendly
nature and prized it. Her eyes flickered over to Shadux once more. He
was so young and youthful. What would it be like to be wedding someone
her own age? That question seemed to linger in her mind. "I'm so
sorry, Shadux. I like you as well, but I do not want anyone to be hurt
because of our time together."

Now it was all making sense. The man on the boat, this "Mengel" she
kept referring to, it wasn't her father. It was her betrothed. Old
enough to be her father, yes, but soon to be her lover. His face
flushed with shame. Had she given him any hint at all? Had he just
assumed because he liked her so much? How could he have _missed_ that?
How could he have not realized, and acted so stupidly. And now, after
admitting to her that he had more than just a casual interest in getting
to know her better, how could he possibly save face in this situation.
He had put himself out there, he had acted rashly and foolishly on an
impulse, on a feeling alone, and he was paying the price for it now.
But he had to say _something_.

"I understand," he finally said, placing the clothes in the basket, but
not meeting her in the eye. **Stupid, _stupid_ Shadux,** he mentally
kicked himself. "I think for his peace of mind, it would be better for
you not to be seen alone with a man, so I had best get about my business
and get home."

"Shadux," Rokera said, reaching out and touching his arm. "I am so
sorry." Rokera truly meant it. Her eyes moved to his and the sincerity
behind her words was there. "You are a good man, and I am flattered
that you would think so highly of me." She dropped her fingers from
his arm, as though just realizing what she'd been doing. "I enjoyed
your company today. I do not often get to be around others my age,"
Rokera sighed. Mengel was wonderful to her, but he was old enough to
be her father. What would it have been like to have met someone her
own age instead?

Standing with her hands clasped before her, Rokera said quietly but
with feeling, "Whoever wins your heart someday, Shadux, will be a very
lucky woman." She smiled kindly at him.

He didn't want her kindness. He certainly didn't want her to talk
about
any woman even touching his heart. It sounded too much like pity, and
it made him feel even more the fool. All Shadux really wanted in that
moment was to get far away and try to forget any of this happened as
quickly as possible. But he was a man, and he knew he had to take
losing gracefully, even though it did leave a bad taste in his mouth.
"Good luck with your marriage. I wish you all happiness." He was not
quite in a gracious enough mood to extend it to her intended. Before
she could say anything further, he decided to save what face he had
left, and walked away.

Rokera was sad to see the hurt he tried to mask behind his eyes before
he hurried away. She had not wanted to hurt anyone. Why had she not
realized sooner what his intent had been? She knew her future was laid
out for her, and Mengel was a perfect match, but Shadux had made her
wonder, if even for a moment what it would be like to be with someone
nearer her age. Scooping up the rest of the garments, Rokera hurried
to return them so she could go spend the evening in the arms of the
man she loved and would give her whole heart to for the rest of her
life. In her mind, she wished young Shadux well. Soon, Rokera had
vanished among the houses, ready to move forward with her chosen path.

Last updated on the August 13th 2010

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Wherefore Art Thou, My Love?