Exactly those words

Writers: Paula, Eimi
Date Posted: 29th June 2010

Characters: Erassa, Corowal
Description: Corowal tries again and gets spurned.
Location: Emerald Falls Hold
Date: month 9, day 23 of Turn 5

The Lady Holder had left the Hold that morning, taking the older boys
with her on a visit to her family. That meant Erassa was officially
being left in charge to mind the toddles and littler boy and girl, as
well as take care of Corowal's needs. Within reason, of course, though
she suspected they all knew how tongues would wag.

Corowal had given her a note to not expect him for dinner, having a lot
of business to attend to that day. Erassa had made sure that something
was sent from the kitchens to his office for dinner. Whether he ate it
or not was another matter. But the children were fed, scrubbed, read
to, put to bed, dishes washed, kitchen cleaned, and herself bathed and
half asleep on a chair with a book in her lap when the Lord Holder
finally opened the door to his quarters.

Corowal was trying to move as silently as possibly so he wouldn't woke
up anybody. "Ah, Erassa, hi," he had half exected that the fostermother
would also gone to sleep. She certainly looked like half sleep.

Erassa blinked a couple times, setting the book aside. She would find
her place again later. "Did you just come in?"

"Yes, I did. And you should be in bed," he replied, his voice full of
gentle concern.

"I was waiting for you." She had done that many a time when he was yet
unmarried. "I had something sent up to you. Did you eat?"

"We grabbed something on passing," he replied dryly and rolled his
shoulders.

"Would you like a little something?" she asked, getting out of the chair
with surprisingly little effort.

"If you insist," He flashed a grin. Her looking after him was so
endearing.

His sudden smile was a little unnerving. "What is it?" she asked,
wondering if her hair was sticking out in a weird way or something

"You do realize that you act like wife sometimes?" Corowal asked.

The question took her somewhat by surprise. "I act no different now
than I did before you were married," she said with a nervous chuckle,
brushing past him to put the stew back on the stove. Erassa wasn't sure
if she wanted to see that smile on his face.

"True," Corowal admitted.

She looked over her shoulder at him. "But you're still smiling?"

"You make me smile, I can't help it," Corowal replied.

Despite herself, the corner of her mouth curled slightly, her feminine
pride pleased. Trying her apron around her waist she started stirring
the pot to make sure it didn't stick to the bottom. She could feel his
eyes still on her and peeked back at him once more.

Corowal enjoyed just watching her. Felyna was too much a Lady to do
anything this domestic.

When she was satisfied that the stew was ready she asked, "Do you want
tea? Or something else?"

"Is that a trick question?" Corowal's thoughts were wandering to topics
that had nothing to do with tea..it was hunger of different kind.

She knew that look well by now. "Something else, like rum and milk?"

Corowal moved closer and touched her arm, whispering seductively into
her ear: "You in my big, empty bed."

Erassa hated how his breath on her neck sent a shiver down her spine.
"That didn't take long, did it."

"Well, no," Corowal said dryly, taking a half step backwards.

She pulled the stew from the heat and turned around to face him. "Why
are you still asking me? I have turned you down in numerous ways. You
can't be that fond of the chase. Why, Corowal?"

"I don't know," Corowal sounded almost as frustrated as she, and pulled
his fingers across his hair. "I just can't keep away from you. You stole
piece of my heart."

"I'll admit, we've... grown closer," she said softly, crossing her arms
across her chest though not meeting his eye. "You've been good to me,
and good to my son. And there are times when I've felt very alone, and
it's tempting. It's not always easy. When you stand close to me
sometimes..." Erassa took a deep breath, and let it out in a long sigh,
shaking those thoughts from her head. "But it's not in me to just give
myself for a man for temporary relief. When I gave myself to B'lion, I
gave myself completely, and I thought he did the same. I was wrong.
And I can't see it ending up any differently with you."

"Oh, really?" his voice was soft and challenging. He touched briefly and
softly her cheek.

Surprisingly, she didn't pull away. "If I gave myself to you, what
would I get in return? You're already taken. I'd get a piece? What if
a piece isn't enough for me?"

"I can't offer you the whole of me," Corowal said, "You're right about
that. I can offer you safety, my protection, a position."

"Only as long as I pleased you. You could cast me aside, like I've seen
you do to all those other women. The moment I became more of an
inconvenience than a source of entertainment, you'd no use for me."
Tears filled her eyes. "If I can't be a legitimate wife, is it so much
to ask to at least be first in your heart?"

"Those others didn't mean anythig to me, they were just for physical
needs. You do mean something to me, you're important to me," Corowal
said with gentle tone.

Erassa closed her eyes, laughing softly, mirthlessly. "B'lion used to
say the same exact words. _Exactly_ those words."

"Ouch," The Lord holder winced.

"He had a dragon. You have a wife. I still can hope for nothing more
than being second place. What if I want more than that?"

Corowal just looked sad.

She hated the way he looked at her. "Do you think I'm wrong to want
that?"

"Not wrong, but perhaps it bit too much to dream of, in your current
situation. As I see, you have three options. One: we go on as before,
two: you became my mistress officially or three: you leave to pursue
your dream with someone else. I just can't promise you to be the first
in my life." He looked heartbroken.

"I am very much aware of what my options are, Corowal," she said softly
turning back around and grabbed the pot. "Your stew is getting cold."

"Who cares about stew?" he murmured.

"Fine." She set it back down again, wishing they had never had this
conversation.

Last updated on the July 17th 2010

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Exactly those words