Right or Wrong

Writers: Chelle, Eimi
Date Posted: 22nd May 2010

Characters: Sarban, Erassa
Description: Sarban and Erassa discuss Corowal and their relationship.
Location: Emerald Falls Hold
Date: month 9, day 18 of Turn 5

He was sitting on the riverbank, taking advantage of his restday. Sarban
had a huge hat on to ward off the sun and his dirty clothes didn't
betray who he was. Of course the ex-seacrafter would rather have been
fishing on the coast, but he would make the best of things. Perhaps he
could ask Corowal about a visit to Topaz soon for some research.

Erassa had taken the opportunity to go to her family's cot for a small
lunch, taking her son to see his grandparents. In the end, it was an
extremely quiet affair as her father had conveniently needed to repair a
fence the milking herdbeast had damaged. It turned out to be only
Erassa, her mother, and Beleran, but that was hardly a surprise. Her
father only spoke to her when he had to. Erassa told herself she didn't
mind for her sake, really, but for that of her son. And yet, she
couldn't help but feel the stab fresh once again.

"Look a' the man, Mama," Beleran pointed with his hand not curled behind
her neck.

Erassa's eyes followed his finger straight to where Sarban was sitting.
Their eyes met and her blood immediately ran cold in her veins as she
recognized him. Corowal's cousin, the Steward. The one who had been
talking to the Lord Holder about her. She gave him a polite nod of
recognition, but had every intention of walking on to the Hold as
quickly as possible.

"Good day, fostermother." Despite living under the same roof, Sarban
didn't have cause to see Erassa all that often. He had no children or a
wife. Despite that, he knew much more about her than he ought. He was
the one that arranged for her clothing, food, and other needs in a
roundabout fashion, though it was as Corowal wished it.

"Good day, Steward," Erassa said, stopping just to give him another
quick bob before intending to resume her walk back to the Hold.

"And where are you about to on this fine day?" He could tell he was
irking her and, in a perverse way, he wanted to keep her there to watch
it play across her face.

"My family cot. I was lunching with my parents." The steward didn't
need to know that only half of them had remained for the meal.

A shadow passed across his face then as he thought about his mother,
gone. "Was it a good meal then?"

"My mother's an excellent cook." Was he trying to insinuate something,
she wondered.

"Glad to hear it." He watched her son, curious about that one. "Do you
fish boy?"

Erassa tightened her hold on Beleran a little, though the toddler just
twirled a strand of his mother's hair around his finger as he looked at
the man. "I think he's a bit young for that, sir," his mother replied
for him.

"Nonsense, I baited my first hook at three turns." Sarban wondered if
she intended to baby her boy.

"He's barely two." Did he think she would be handing sharp objects he
might swallow to the child? Was this some kind of test for her fitness
to parent?

Sarban shrugged. He was a big two..wasn't he? He turned his head to
get a better look around the hat. "Well he's growing well."

"Thank you." She couldn't help but feel a little unsettled by the fact
that the Steward was suddenly taking an interest in her boy.

Picking up his pole, Sarban adjusted his hat. "Here lemme walk you
back. Time to get out of the sun anyway." He approached her slowly.

She dipped her head again in acceptance, though she wasn't sure she
wanted to spend so much time with the man who obviously thought so
little of her, else why would he have encouraged the Lord Holder to kick
her out? Erassa could not forget, and certainly never forgive that.

Sarban didn't say anything for a time, choosing instead to whistle an
old tune, a simple melody that rose and fell at times. Not a chatty
thing, was she?

Part of Erassa wanted to say something, _anything_ to break the awkward
silence. And yet on the other hand she didn't want to encourage the
man's attention. He had certainly proved he was no ally of hers, and
she doubted anything she could say would change that opinion.

"Have you always stayed here?" She had already been at the Hold when
Sarban had first come. Somehow, he remembered that.

"No," as she was sure he was well aware. "I spent about a Turn at the
Weyr."

"Mmmmm....do you miss it there?" Except for hatchings and things like
that, he'd never spent time at the Weyr. The sight of all of those
dragons was enough to make a man wonder, though.

"No," Erassa said firmly. "I was not happy there. It didn't suit me."

"Why not?" Sarban was speaking frankly and he knew it. Still, she was
speaking and that was an improvement.

She was tired of the round about interrogation. If he wanted it all,
she'd give it to him. "Because despite what people say about me, I did
not have the Weyr mentality. Poor judgment, I'll own, but not loose
morals." Not then at least. "I have only ever known one man, and for
my part I believed we were as good as married. My faith may have been
misplaced, but I never could stomach the 'freedoms' of the Weyr."

Sarban digested that for awhile. "And what about now?"

"As I said, I have known only one man." And that was the truth, whether
he wanted to believe it or not.

"My concern is for his family to be safe and for this Hold to run as
smooth as it can." He spoke plainly, though there was no malice in his
tone. "You're not a stupid woman, Erassa. I know that."

"And my concern is for my son. Nothing matters but him." And the Lord
Holder could afford him protection she cannot give.

"So you would sacrifice his family for your own? I can't allow that."
Sarban frowned, watching her. In effect, he was doing the same thing she
was-looking out for *his* family.

"He sacrifices _nothing_," she shot back vehemently. "I have loved
those children almost as if they were my own. The Lady may be Corowal's
wife, but since their own poor mother died I have been the closest those
children have to her replacement. Wallia fed at my breast from the day
she was born. It's me she reaches for, and the other children too. You
think separating me from them wouldn't be a sacrifice?"

"What is happening very well might cause them more harm than that."
Had she never really considered the consequences of her actions? "These
people set an entire Hall on fire because of female apprentices. You
don't think they might do something as equally dangerous? Shells they
just killed a minor Holder months back, Erassa."

"They may not like me, but not one has dared make a threat against me.
Lord Holders take mistresses all the time. Acknowledged ones. I think
Emerald Falls people may think a Hall taking on female apprentices is
unnatural, but there's nothing more natural than a man spreading his
seed." She shook her head with a sneer. Sometimes the Hold and the
Weyr were more alike than people realized. "No, there is no danger to
them even if I were to share their father's bed, openly or in secret.
What they want is a good story, and it doesn't matter if it's true or an
old wives tale. They want entertainment, and my staying where I am
gives them exactly what they want. But it gives my son something too -
protection from those same wagging tongues. I don't care what they say
to my face or behind my back, but some protection for him makes all the
lies about me worth it."

"And what about Felyna? If she doesn't want her husband to take a
mistress?" Women-always manipulating and conniving to their own
ends, they never thought about anyone else. Sarban really didn't want
to get married.

"I am _not_ Corowal's mistress," Erassa shot back vehemently, but even
she had to admit the possibility was there. "But even if I were, it's
not the Hold's business. It's between her and her husband. I could
never be Corowal's wife, so it's not as if her position, or that of her
children, would be in any danger."

"Ah but there you are wrong. A Lord Holder's mistress is the Hold's
business just as his children and his wife are." Sarban kept on walking,
wondering if she had thought that far. "Just as a foster mother is."

"You have an inflated view of yourself, Steward, and what constitutes
your business. Corowal may be your family, and you may have a right to
impose your opinion on him, but if he doesn't object, and I don't
object, there is nothing the Hold can do about it. He has been
appointed by a Council of his peers, a Council full of men with
mistresses, and only they can remove him and with just cause. He, and
I, have our rights." Let him just try to deny that!

"He can also end up dead on the floor like Barric. And that I will not
allow. So Erassa, understand me. Do what you wish, but I serve Corowal
and this Hold. If there is ever any sign of danger to him or his family,
I _will_ do my duty." Sarban said it slow and clear, unmistakable in his
meaning.

"And you understand _this_," Erassa growled in response, "if there is
ever any danger to Corowal or any of his children, I will be standing
between it and them. They are _my_ family too, and I will not let you
or anyone else so far removed from it, destroy what we have built. What
happens between them and I is our business. Butt out of it."

"Again, you are wrong." They had reached the Hold gates. "Here we are.
I'll leave you now." He had said what he needed to and he fully intended
on enjoying the rest of his restday. Turning, he headed off in another
direction.

Seething, Erassa held onto Beleran tightly as she turned towards the
Lord Holder's apartments.

Last updated on the May 28th 2010

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Right or Wrong