A Birthing Day Wish

Writers: Eimi
Date Posted: 28th February 2010

Characters: U'kaiah, Kaiafel
Description: Kaiafel has a wish for his father's birthing day
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 7, day 7 of Turn 5
Notes: Mentions: Traelyn

"Make sure and pack that snow good and tight now," U'kaiah reminded him
as he knelt next to the bucket and held it steady.

"I know," Kaiafel replied patiently, placing both hands on top of the
mound of snow and pressing with the full force of his weight.

"That's good," his father nodded as helped smooth down the top. "Do you
want me to turn it over?"

"No, I can do it," the boy said as he grabbed the sides and with just a
little bit of a strain lifted the full bucket into his arms.

"Now put it down next to the last one," the bronzerider said, pointing
to a line of rounded snow-bricks.

"I know," the boy grunted as he carefully turned the bucket over and
dropped it down into the snow as close as he could.

"Good, now, give the bottom a good thump..."

"Da, I know what I'm doing." Kaiafel knocked on the bottom of the
bucket four times, one on each corner as he had been taught and slowly,
carefully, lifted the
bucket up to reveal a perfect white brick of compact snow.

"Beautifully done," his father grinned proudly as he scooted forward on
his knees to help pile snow between it and it's neighbor, like a mason
might fill in the cracks with mortar.

His attention was drawn up as he heard the bugle of welcome from the
Watchdragon. A brown had come in.

The boy shook his head as he saw that his father's mind was not on the
task at hand. "You're doing it again."

"Doing what?" U'kaiah asked innocently as he turned his attention back
to the boy.

"Looking at the dragons coming in," Kaiafel said as he righted the
bucket once more. An idea suddenly struck him. "Is Trae coming?"

"What?" the bronzerider asked, a little taken aback by the question.
"Why would you think Trae is coming?"

"Well, it _is_ your birthing day," the boy reminded him. "I thought
maybe she'd come."

"Oh. Well," the bronzerider cleared his throat, "I doubt she's coming."

"Then why do you keep looking up at all the dragons?"

"Well, because it _is_ my birthing day." He reached for a handful of
snow to fill the bucket, finding it easier to answer all these questions
with something to occupy himself. "You never know what could happen on
your birthing day. Maybe an old friend might come to surprise me..."

"Like Trae?" his son asked as he filled his arms with snow.

U'kaiah rocked back on his knees and placed his hands on his thighs.
"Alright, Kaiafel, look at me."

He deposited his load of snow into the bucket and then raised his eyes
to his father's.

"Son, I know you miss Trae, but she's _not_ coming. She and I haven't
spoken in half a turn. She's not coming." His tone had been firm,
wanting Kaiafel to understand the truth in his words, though his voice
softened as he murmured a gentle, "I'm sorry."

"Why don't you talk to her any more?" There had been a lot of questions
Kaiafel had about why Trae had suddenly dropped out of their lives, but
his father had always seemed to try to change the subject before.

U'kaiah sighed, not sure how much to say. How do you explain to a young
boy just how complicated adult relationships could be? "I hurt her. I
didn't want to hurt her, but I did. That's just the way it is."
U'kaiah reached for another handful of snow and began packing it down
into the bottom of the bucket.

"But," the boy reached for a halfhearted handful, "can't you just tell
her you're sorry?"

This father's stopped hand buried itself into the snow as he took a
second to collect himself. He realized his son's need to understand,
but dreaded the confessions he would have to make. U'kaiah braced his
hands on the rim of the bucket. "It's not that easy, son. You see, I'm
_not_ sorry." Taking a deep breath, he searched his mind to find the
right words. "Trae needed things that I just couldn't give her."

The boy mulled over that statement a brief moment as he tossed another
handful of snow into the bucket. "Like what?"

"It was hard, on both of us, to live so far apart." The words that they
had spoken in anger came back to him.

'He's there every day. It could have been you. Should have been!'
Those had been her words to him that night up in the Stands. U'kaiah
closed his eyes for a moment, a little surprised at just how those words
stung a part of him he thought had been dulled to the pain.

"She wanted me to move to Dolphin Cove to be with her, and I decided to
stay here. And she couldn't forgive me for that." He opened his eyes
to meet his sons. "I made the right choice, Kaiafel. I'm not sorry for
it."

"But, can't you change your mind?" It seemed to simple to Kaiafel. If
you hurt someone, you told them you were sorry. If you made a bad
choice, you just go back and fix it. He couldn't understand how one
moment, one decision, could have irreversible consequences.

"This is my home. This is where I belong. My Wing is here, my friends
are here. _You're_ here."

The boy thought for a moment about how sad he would be if his father had
left Dragonsfall. He didn't want to be so far away! But he also missed
Trae and the fun times they would have together. "I could go with
you..."

"Come here," his father said gently, holding his arms out to wrap
tightly around his son. U'kaiah had never loved the boy so much as he
did in that moment. He wished he could fix things so easily. He wished
the world could stay as simple for his son as they were now. Pulling
back, he held his son's arms gently. "I couldn't take you with me, son.
What would happen to your mother? She would be all alone here. She'd
miss you so very much, and feel so sad. You wouldn't want to leave your
mother, would you?"

Kaiafel slowly shook his head, the realization of the complexity of such
a choice beginning to dawn in his mind. "But," he whispered, "can't
things just be like they were before?"

"No, son, it's over." Shards it was heartbreaking to see the hope still
glimmering in his son's eyes.

"But what if you said you were sorry? What if you told her you loved
her? Can't things be like they were?"

"No," his father said more firmly. "She has moved on. She... She's in
love with another man now. It's over, Kaiafel. It's over."

Kaiafel realized he had to accept it from the tone his father's voice.
He missed Trae, but he knew he would have missed his father much more if
he had left. Throwing his arms around his father's neck, and leaning
his head against his great big shoulder, he whispered a soft lie. "I
understand."

U'kaiah wrapped his arms around the boy and held him tight, wishing with
all his heart he could do just as his son said - that a few words could
fix the past and that they could go back once again to a happier time.
To the way things were before. And not just for his son's sake, but for
his own too. Faranth, if he could have one birthing day wish...

"Come on," he murmered at last, pulling back once more. "We'll never
finish our snow-Hold like this. We've got work to do, right?"

"Right," Kaiafel nodded, forcing a small smile for his father's sake.

As they filled their arms once more with powdery white snow, the
Watchdragon's bugle sounded off the cliffs once more, and both pairs of
eyes silently lifted to the sky above. After all, it was U'kaiah's
birthing day, and you never know what could happen on your birthingday.

Last updated on the March 19th 2010

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A Birthing Day Wish