Us

Writers: Eimi, Paula
Date Posted: 10th February 2010

Characters: Erassa, Corowal, Wallia
Description: Corowal and Erassa have a talk about "us"...
Location: Emerald Falls Hold
Date: month 7, day 6 of Turn 5

"No hitting, Wallia," Corowal scolded and took the building block she
had been using as weapon away from his daughter. The little toddler
naturally started to brawl when she was being prevented to do something.
"Ladies don't hit, especially their milk brothers. If you can't play
nicely, you are going back to the play pen all by yourself." He gave
Erassa amused smile over the protesting child.

"It's good she's learning to stand up for herself," Erassa smiled back
before kissing her son's hand, which smarted much less than his pride
she was sure. He had been trying to steal that block for some time but
the little lady had fended him off quite effectively. Her blindness
certainly had not effected her natural sense of defending what was hers.
"There is many a lady who could learn a thing or two from little
Wallia."

"Oh, I don't know..." Corowal murmured. He suddenly got the image of
Erassa and Felyna fighting over him to his head. It was kind of nice
fantasy (doesn't all men want beautiful women fighting over them?) and
some of it showed on his face.

Erassa looked at him suspiciously as she set her son back down on the
floor next to the little girl. "You have a rather odd look on your
face, Corowal," she said, showing the familiarity she would only allow
when they were alone, or in front of the two littlest who knew no
better. He seemed to like it when she called him that.

"Umh, I got carried away by my imagination," Corowal replied. Wallia had
also calmed down and he gave her toy back.

"I'm not sure I should ask," Erassa said her eyes narrowing a bit. It
probably had to do with her. At least she hoped so.

"If you do, I would have to cover the babies ears," Corowal said.

"Figures," she said with a slightly amused quirk to the corner of her
mouth. "I'll leave you to your thoughts, then, while I get the babies'
lunch ready."

"We haven't really talked properly lately," Corowal remarked, pushing
those pleasant daydreams out of his head.

"Have we ever talked properly?" Erassa asked, looking at him over her
shoulder as she moved towards the kitchen area.

"Once and a while in the past," Corowal said thoughtfully.

"What do we talk about?" she asked, rummaging through a cupboard for a
pot.

"How about us?" Corowal suggested, absentmindedly stacking blocks in to
a tower.

Her hand stilled a moment on the handle of the pot she was reaching for.
"Us?"

"Is there any us, will there be any us?" Corowal asked and his gaze
followed her movements. He did felt a stab of quilt. He had Felyna and
yet he couldn't keep his eyes off from Erassa.

She chuckled ruefully, shaking her head as she filled the pot with
water. "How could there ever be? You already have an 'us'."

"Mh, yes," Corowal said, wondering if he should tell her about the
discussion with Felyna.

"Well, we sure don't seem to talk about much," she said as she began
dicing up vegetables for their soup.

"My fault. I'm kind of waivering between you two and sometimes I just
don't know what to say...or do." It was strange. When he was with
Felyna, he couldn't remember what he saw in Erassa. When he was in
Erassa's precence, he forgot Felyna.

"I suppose that's... honest..." If not a little painful. The last
thing a girl liked to hear was that a man couldn't make up his mind
about her. "I'm not sure your wife would appreciate such an admission."

"No, she didn't," Corowal said. He was cut off and distracted when
Wallia tipped over his tower with a woop of joy.

"No wonder she wants me and my son out of here as soon as possible,"
Erassa said as she made a point of looking intently into the pot of soup
she was stirring.

"Well, she wants to stay as Lady Holder even more. She and I agreed to
me honest with each other. If I take other women to my bed, she wants to
know it. I promised not to sire any children outside the marriage." He
rebuilt the tower for the babies to tip over.

She stopped stirring and looked at him over her shoulder with narrowed
eyes. "And how do you expect to sleep with women and _not_ father any
more children?"

"There are ways. You have lived in a Weyr, I'm sure you are aware of
those? Besides, Ofelia once used something to prevent her getting
pregnant too soon after birth. The healers gave it to her, for health
reasons," Corowal replied.

Erassa knew of the tea dragonriders used. She never had, though.
"Well, it seems you have thought of everything, haven't you. But what
if the woman doesn't want the tea? Or what if it doesn't work?"

"Well, that's when it gets difficult," Corowal sighed.

She turned to look at him full in the face. "So, then, let us say that
_I_ were the woman who was unfortunate enough to find that, despite my
best efforts, I was wish child. Would you abandon _me_ with your
child?"

"No, but I would have to send you away," Corowal said with tone
indicating that he would not like it.

Her expression was actually hurt as she held his gaze. "So I could live
in some foreign place without family or friend and be twice the whore?
Where is the 'us' in that, Corowal?"

"I don't know," Corowal admitted. He was glad he didn't mention the
option of 'getting rid of the baby'.

"All you see when you look at me is just another woman to bed. Just
another woman you can throw away when you tire of me. After all you and
I have been though, how can you continue to insult me like this? Do you
not know me at all? Or do you just not care?" She turned her eyes back
on the pot she was supposed to be stirring, her frustration bringing
real tears to her eyes. What was so different about the make up of a
man that they could be understanding, even tender towards a woman one
moment, and yet act so cruelly towards them the next?

"I do care. But I also admit having a ruthlessness in my personality. I
wouldn't haven't risen to this position, if I wasn't able to put my
personal feelings aside and do what must be done," he said, getting up.

He walked over to Erassa, and caught one of the tears to his finger tip.
Her eyes looked up at his fiercely through the tears. "Don't hide
behind excuses, Corowal. You _have_ risen to this position. You're the
Lord Holder. _You're_ the one who gets to decide what must be done."

"Yes, and who knows what will really happen if matters get to that
point. My heart says one thing while my reason says otherwise."

"I don't have that luxury. I followed my heart once, and I had to trust
my reason to get me out of the situation." She sighed, looking down at
the space in the floor between them. "You made your wife a pretty
promise, Corowal, but I don't want to be screwed. I want to be loved.
There is no 'us'."

Corowal gave her an odd look. "Remind me to tell you the story of my
first love one day."

Sometimes she wondered if someone so selfish could ever truly know what
love meant. "Not today," she said softly as she turned back to the
bubbling pot that was threatening to boil over. "The babies need their
lunch."

"Not today," Corowal agreed.

Last updated on the February 15th 2010

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