The Choice To Love

Writers: AL
Date Posted: 30th November 2008

Characters: Briata, Wenina
Description: Wenina comes to talk to Briata before she leaves for Garnet Valley.
Location: Garnet Valley Hold
Date: month 13, day 17 of Turn 4

Briata

Briata closed the top of the trunk and tied it shut. They had just arrived from Garnet Valley around lunch time and immediately after the meal, Briata had gone to pack. It didn't take long for her to do so. She had made sure to pack only the things that she really needed or had great value to her. Some of her clothes she had left, the ones she hadn't made or embroidered. She looked around. Two small trunks. That wasn't too bad, was it? She had tried to keep both of them from being too heavy so they would be easier to lift. Her father had gone to her cousins immediately after the discussion with Ishek and everything had been arranged. She would leave once more the next day and stay at Garnet Valley. She had wanted it that way, and her father was obliging, despite the quickness of it and the amount of traveling involved.

"Done already?" Wenina's voice came from the doorway and Briata turned to see her leaning against it.

The young woman nodded, a trembling thrill running down her spine. She was going to get married! The larger of the two trunks held her wedding dress, carefully packed. It had been her birth mother's and it wouldn't take much to adjust it to her smaller frame. Fortunately, her mother had been tall, like her, so the dress was not too short on her.

The girl couldn't help but dwel over the events. She would finally have a husband and, eventually, children. She knew they would be happy together. She would make Lord Ishek happy. She would care for him, just like she had cared for her father. Now that Wenina was part of the family, and had been for several turns, she knew she wouldn't have to worry about her father and brothers.

"Isn't it exciting?" Breathed Briata, taking Wenina's hands in her own. Wenina had come into her heart as a second mother, and she was so very grateful to have a mother to see her get married.

"Yes, it is." Wenina squeezed her daughter's hand, then motioned to her bed. "But I would like to talk with you."

"Is something wrong?" Had Lord Ishek decided he didn't want her after all? Briata's face fell at the thought as she sat upon her bed. She had been approached by suitors, of course, but they had all fallen from grace when they had expected to give into their lustful desires before they were properly married - some had wanted only that and no sort of long term relationship like marriage. Briata knew she was fair to look at, but she wished that men wouldn't associate that with being easy to get into bed.

Oh, but Lord Ishek had seemed like such a gentleman, and she hadn't gotten the feeling that he only wanted to look at her body and not at her heart. There was more to her than that, and she felt that he saw that. At least, she hoped he did. He had been very nice, and not at all pushy. "Has Lord Ishek changed his mind?"

"No, nothing is wrong, per se, and no, he hasn't changed his mind." Wenina eased herself down onto the bed, one arm cradling her baby. Relaxing at Wenina's words, she too placed a gentle hand upon the child who cooed softly at the touch. Wenina moved her own hand to cover Briata's in a tender gesture.

"Darling, you know I love you as if I had birthed you, don't you?" Wenina stared into Briata's eyes, making sure that her sincerity was reflected not only in her words, but in her very expression.

"Of course, Wenina, I know that. You've been a mother to me and the boys. I love you dearly." Briata wondered if Wenina just needed some reassurance. She knew that Wenina felt like she was losing her only daughter.

"I'm just concerned about this match..." Wenina paused, almost afraid to broach the subject, but she felt it needed to be talked about.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Wenina paused, trying her best to choose her words carefully, "I'm almost afraid that you're going into this too fast. You barely know the man."

Briata nodded slowly. She could understand that. "I know, but Lord Ishek wants me, Wenina. And I think it's more than just that I'm nice to look at."

"Are you sure?" Wenina wasn't so sure about that. Ishek wanted a wife, yes, probably because he had been pressured into getting one. Aslian was young, and it was not uncommon for something to happen to children. They got sick, they died. Her own two and her first husband had died, her children to illness, her husband to bandits. Life was never a sure thing. "He's so much older than you."

"Mom, you're one to talk!" Briata couldn't help but laugh, "Daddy's twenty two turns older than you! Ishek is closer to me by two whole turns."

Wenina managed a smile and nodded. "Well, this is true, though the gap seems to grow smaller as you grow older."

"Then it will just grow smaller as we grow older, won't it?" Briata leaned forward and kissed Wenina's cheek.

"I just feel," Wenina continued, "That you have more time. That you could find someone you could love if you just waited a bit longer."

"But I can love him." Briata reassured her, rising to he feet to double check her wardrobe and be sure she hadn't forgotten anything that she really wanted to take. "I just have to choose to love him."

"Pardon?"

Briata glanced over the wardrobe one last time. There were a few clothes in there, but it looked so empty compared to what it had been. When she was finished, she closed the doors, turned, and leaned against them. "What I mean is, love isn't always a feeling."

Wenina's brow furrowed in confusion. "I don't understand."

The younger woman smiled, "Well, for example, you've gotten mad at Papa before, right?"

"Well, yes," Wenina nodded, "Couples get mad at one another from time to time."

"When you're angry at him, do you feel love?"

This caused Wenina to pause and slowly, she shook her head. "No, I don't, I feel anger."

"Yet, you still love him, right? Even though you don't _feel_ love?"

"Well, yes..."

Briata made her way back to the bed, sat down once more, and took Wenina's hands in hers. "Mama always said that feeling love and choosing to love did not always come together. There were times she got mad at Papa too. There are times you get mad at him. Yet, despite your anger, you take care of him. You feed him, you choose to stay with him even if he makes you very angry. You don't deny him of his wants or needs just because you're mad. You may not _feel_ love, but you act out your love in what you do."

"I see."

"I like Lord Ishek, even though we've only had brief times together. He's an interesting man. I feel like I can make the choice to love him. Does that make sense?"

"A little." Wenina gave Briata a half smile. "I think I understand. I suppose I never thought about things that way before.

"You didn't have to. You understood even if you didn't realise it."

"I'm just worried, Briata."

"Don't be." Briata shook her head, and smiled. "It will be fine. I will make you and Papa proud and I'll be the best wife any man has ever seen to him - next to you of course."

Wenina laughed softly. "I see. If you're sure, then, I'll not say another word about it."

"I'm sure. It's an honour, and I respect him. I think that's very important."

"Yes, it is." Wenina nodded. "Most of all, men need our respect."

"It's more important to them than they realise."

"Now how did you come to understand all these things and be so wise at such a young age?" Wenina reached out and gingerly tucked a stray strand of hair behind Briata's ear.

Briata smiled. "All I had to do was watch my mama and my mom."

Last updated on the December 8th 2008

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The Choice To Love