A Softer Side

Writers: Kaysea, Vix
Date Posted: 7th March 2008

Characters: Benaran, Karemyn
Description: Benaran shows a softer side to him when Karemyn miscarries
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 8, day 25 of Turn 4

She hadn't been feeling well this morning, but thinking it had just been a dose of a mild flu, she hadn't considered a visit to the healers. Her morning hadn't gotten any better with the news that for today, she was to play messenger for Amber Hills Hold. Despite the fact her meal break could afford her a visit to her parents, the idea of being around the Hold proper for longer than a quarter candlemark made her feel even more queasy than she already was.

Climbing up onto Charyoth's shoulders, she felt a wave of nausea assail her and felt a little dizzy. "Bloody bug." she cursed silently, wiping her brow before fixing the straps tightly across her lap. **You know where we're headed?" she asked, wishing she could get past this rotten wave of nausea.

}:I know, but are you sure we should, I should tell the wingleaders dragon to inform..:{
**No, no need for that, its just a small bug, I'll be fine. C'mon, we need to get there, I can't have _that man_ finding any cause for complaint, and later I'll have some of mothers home cooking, that will see me right.** She tried to reassure her 'mate.

She tightened her leg grip on the green's shoulders as they climbed high above the Weyr, and felt a moment or two of panic when the dizziness swept over her as they blinked /between/.

}:I knew we should have stayed back there:{ the greens voice echoed loudly in her head, concern colouring every word. Slowly, more slowly than was usual, Charyoth made her flight down to the wide expanse of greenery near the Hold proper. The bellow of greeting to the watch dragon was quickly followed by a request for the Hold healer.

** ** ** ** **

"It's about time," Benaran stated as he walked toward the landing dragon. "I've much to do today." The idea that this particular rider was here offered him some satisfaction, since he could both admire her looks and satisfy his poor mood through needling her. However, he had several errands and wanted to get them finished. He approached the dragon impatiently and reached as if to scale the green's side.

All her worst nightmares were coming true, she would be at this man's mercy any moment now. She could feel herself losing control, and the last though in her mind was to assure Charyoth that she loved her.

The scream of the dragon echoed around the fields, as Karemyn slid down the side of the green and into the Holders arms in a dead faint. Blood leaked slowly from the leg of her trous and stained the ground below them.

"What the. . ." He started to try to set her on her feet, but then noted the blood. With a determined look, he scooped her up and started to carry her from the field, pausing only to turn to the dragon to state loudly, "Just calm yourself and wait here - I'll get her help." He strode toward the Hold, calling to a passing boy to tell a healer to come to the first reception room.

~~*~~

**Charyoth?** the worried tone of her dragon was the first thing she heard as she came around, then muffled voices of the human variety became audible. **I'm fine...** her eyelids fluttered open, then closed tightly again as pain ripped through her stomach. A loud moan escaped her, through gritted teeth.

"It's alright, the healer is looking at you." Benaran's voice still had a hard edge to it, though his hand stroked her forward comfortingly. "Please tell your dragon that we're not hurting you - I'm afraid she'll break down the wall to get to you.

"She ... she'll settle." Karemyn managed, woozily. **Dear one, relax, the healer is with me now.**

}:But so is _he_. He took you away:{
**He took me to the healer, Char. Just stay with the watch dragon. I'll be okay.**

Charyoth quieted immediately, and took wing to perch high above the Hold with the watch dragon, never letting the mind link with her rider down for a moment.

"What ... happened?" Karemyn asked quietly. "I was with Charyoth the last I remember." one hand smoothed across her brow, while the other rubbed at her stomach, the pain had abated to just a dull ache.

"I've given you a few drops of fellis in some wine, so the pain you were experiencing should be settling down now." the healer moved forward into her line of sight. "I don't know if you want me to reveal your infirmity at the moment?" he asked, with a brief glance at the Lord Holders son.

"I can leave the room, if you wish," Benaran told her, "but I have a pretty good idea what is happening."

"No... " she looked up at the healer, "he doesn't have to leave. My family - he knows them." She would hardly have believed a few sevenday ago, that she would have considered this man anything more than an arrogant, and dislikeable man - but right now he was the closest thing to a friend, that she had.

"Well, okay." the healer looked once more from Benaran to her. "You're having a miscarriage. Did no one ever explain to you about flying /between/ and being pregnant?" he asked, rather surprised at the woman, she was no girl straight from weyrlinghood.

"Mis..? Oh no, you have to be wrong, I can't be..." although it had been months since Charyoth's last flight, she had been with another rider only last month. She shook her head, finding it hard to believe she had been pregnant without knowing it.

Benaran's hand captured one of hers, squeezing it. "Is there anyone we should contact to be here with you? I can send a message with the watchdragon."

"My...oh, you mean at the Weyr? No." she shook her head, a casual partner wasn't someone she either wanted or needed with her right now. "My family..." but did she really want any of them with her? They had been proud to have another family member as a dragon rider, but this would only be a reminder of some of the less pleasing aspects of being a green rider. "No... no one." she shook her head, avoiding his questioning eyes.

"I'll at least need to let the Weyrleader know," the holder continued. "I assume that you'll not be returning at your expected time." He glanced to the healer for confirmation of this.

"No, she'll need bed rest for at least the next day or so-"

"Oh, no, no!" she turned worried eyes to the healer, "I'll be fine to get..." she struggled to a sitting position, but instantly her body protested.

Benaran nodded to the healer, ignoring Karemyn's words. "We'll put her up in one of the spare rooms in the family wing. She can receive the attention she'll need without attracting too much attention."

"I can't stay here." She shook her head, "Look, at least let me go to my families cot? They can come and collect me by cart, and Charyoth can fly overhead."

"You can't be moved, rider Karemyn." the healer shook his head. "The journey by cart, even briefly will cause you to bleed too much. Then where would we be with your dragon?" he asked, tut-tutting. "A room here would be much more suitable." he nodded to Benaran. "I trust I can leave her in your capable hands, Sir?" he asked, "I'll leave you some fellis mixed as a sleeping draft. She should have a light meal, and then rest."

The holder blinked. He had not expected to care for the woman on his own, but did not see any way out of that. "Yes, I'll arrange the room first and the meal can be delivered to her there."

"Really I don't want to be any bother." she tried to struggle up again the look on Benaran's face had told her how much of an imposition she was to him. She didn't want to have to be here day in day out with him looking disdainfully at her each time he did glance her way.

"Well I'll leave you to it." the healer said, "I'll come back tomorrow to check on you, but rest is really all that is needed right now." With a glance at both of them, he turned and left the room.

"Don't move." Benaran turned to the greenrider, pointing at her emphatically. Satisfied that she was not going anywhere, he strode to the door and hailed a passing drudge. With a few moments of discussion, arrangements had been made and he closed the door once more. He spoke as he returned to her side. "Your bed is being prepared now."

"You really don't have to do this. I'm sure my mother could come, and somehow take me to her cot." she replied with a tired sigh. The cramps in her stomach had eased as far as the pain went; but she could still feel her stomach contracting under her hands. A sadness closed over her at the thought of losing the child she hadn't known she was carrying.

"The healer already said 'no' to moving you that far, so forget that idea. If you want your mother here, I'll send for her, but the Hold will do its duty to the Weyr and take care of you while you recuperate." He sat heavily in a chair near her. "Your dragon - will she need to be fed? Can we just designate a pasture and be sure that only beasts we are willing to lose are within it?"

She nodded silently, not wishing to meet his eyes. A profound sadness had settled over her. Never before had she wished to have a child, it had always been the furthest thing from her list of priorities - this wasn't the first time she had lost a child either, but this time was different, she had been unaware the child had been there. Why did that make all the difference? "I'll let her know and she'll abide by your request." she said quietly. "Thank you, Sir. You've been most - understanding."

He regarded her for a moment before replying. "I'm not a total wherry, you know. No matter how much I enjoy watching you squirm, I'll not kick you when you're down."

She gave a half hearted 'harrumph'. "Thank you. I suppose I should be grateful for small mer..." she had been about to bite, but looking up and meeting his eyes, for once she realised he was being genuine. "Really - thank you." she said more civilly this time.

Benaran simply shrugged. "Just get well. I rather enjoyed our former relationship."

His words caught her off guard. She wasn't quite sure how to take him, this was a totally different side to Benaran that she was seeing before her now, and she wasn't sure if she could trust this one either, but for now she would give him the benefit of the doubt. She caught his eyes, and nodded in agreement. "I'll do my best."

"And now," he rose from his seat, "I need to get back to my work. I'll send those messages and have the Headwoman move you to a different room and I'll talk to you later."

"Th..thank you." she gave a small nod and watched him as he left the room. As the door closed behind him, a wave of sorrow washed over her and she finally allowed the tears to fall unchecked for the life lost to her.

Last updated on the March 9th 2008

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A Softer Side