My Last Ordinary Day

Writers: Jane, Vix
Date Posted: 30th September 2007

Characters: Arateyka, L'car
Description: Arateyka extracts a promise from L'car.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 6, day 2 of Turn 4

"Found you," Arateyka muttered under her breath as she caught sight of the scarred bluerider tucked into a corner of the large dining cavern.
When she got close enough she cleared her throat in nervousness that ought to have been completely unnecessary. "Good morning L'car."

He started, his first impulse to glare at her, but stifled that and muttered instead, "Good morning."

"See," she had read something of his initial response in his face and grinned, "it didn't hurt at all to be pleasant."

Now he did frown. "It didn't serve much purpose either."

"It did from my point of view." She sat down at the table, remembering how often they had sat like this when they were younger. They had been able to talk the day away; opinions on everything around them and beyond. She wondered who he talked to now - if indeed he talked to anybody. Going by his rusty social skills, perhaps he didn't. "It's good to see you again, L'car. How are things going in your new wing?"

The frown deepened. "There's much to learn. Apparently the mistakes of the early 'Falls led to some changes in formations and maneuvers and now Tulenth and I must learn all of those."

"That's good, isn't it? That some good came out of it?"

"It's good for those who didn't have to give up anything to learn it."

"It's good that people and dragons aren't dying at the rate they were back then," Arateyka said firmly. "Perhaps it's not wonderful to be the lesson that taught others, but somebody had to be."

He finally turned to look at her. "Tell that to my little brother."

"And Ykana. And people like you who survived."

"No one remembers those who died - only immediate family members, not the people for whom they died."

"The hold folk, you mean?" She tilted her head to one side and considered that. "Well, they don't know the _details_ but I think they understand that dragonriders stand between them and death or ruin."

"Do they? Do they truly understand what is sacrificed to protect them?"
His hands moved with his words, the uninjured side of his face animated with his emotions. "Even without the deaths, the life style, the inability to have a calm life, settled with family?"

"The sort of life dragonriders had before Thread returned, you mean? But long ago, when this was normal, dragonriders must have lived like they're living now. Only they knew then, that the change in lifestyle was coming."

"Yes, but it wasn't supposed to change." L'car pounded his fist in frustration, then remembered himself and folded his hands in his lap. He continued in a quieter voice. "We shouldn't have had to live like this."

"It wasn't very _fair_," Arateyka agreed. "But you know what they say about life being fair."

"Some tend to get more fairness than others."

Arateyka sighed. "Do you ever get the chance to just talk about ordinary things, L'car?"

"My last ordinary day was the day before I was injured. . . the day before my brother died."

"Then you have to make a new ordinary. Talking to me -" if they could ever get off the subject of his injuries and the death of T'din, "-
that's ordinary."

He shook his head. "Talking to you, talking to anyone, isn't ordinary any more. And suppose it becomes so? How long before that is taken away?"

"You can't live like this forever," Arateyka said firmly. "You've got to adjust to the new normal life - for you, for Pern."

"What difference does that make to anyone?" he asked, his tone despondent. "I could have died that day, probably should have, but somehow I lived and I'm here in a half-life, what is left filled with pain. Pern and everyone in it has survived without me so far, so why bother?"

"Because I missed you, and probably other people did too. And Tamaca?
She lost her brother and probably doesn't want to feel like she's lost both of them."

He stared at the table, silent for a moment. "Tam. . ." He stopped as he said the name, the name that had referred to both his brother and his sister. "It should have been me. The two of them were always closer and he'd have been able to help her through this."

"That's not a choice you were given. You or him. It just happened."

"It happened wrong. He could have coped with a loss. He could have made up for me dying, but I can't make up for him being gone."

"You _can_! But you've got to do it - not just sit around thinking you can't."

He finally looked up at her, his voice barely audible. "I don't know how."

"I can help," Arateyka offered instantly, not having any idea what she could do that _would_ help.

His eyes remained fixed on her, a faint glimmering of hope in his expression. "You can?"

"Sure." She nodded, hoping she sounded more certain than she felt.
"Sure I can."

He nodded, swallowing and then clearing his throat. "Thank you."

"Shall I meet you for breakfast again tomorrow?" she suggested, that being the only thing she could come up with on the spur of the moment.
"You're not on watch duty or anything?"

He shook his head. "No, not on watch duty." He contemplated meeting her and realized that apart from duties and appointments related to recuperation for him and his dragon, he had had nothing in his plans since his injury. "I guess. . . I guess I could do that."

"Right. I'll see you this time tomorrow," Arateyka said, getting to her feet, thinking that they should start small, for he was sure to find too much of anybody's company tiresome after so long alone. "Have a good day, L'car."

"Uh, yeah. . . Uh, you, too." He hurriedly turned back to his breakfast.

Last updated on the October 1st 2007

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My Last Ordinary Day