Do You Feel Better?

Writers: Clancey, Dana
Date Posted: 4th October 2005

Characters: Ciara, R'yin
Description: Ciara and R'yin's daughter gets sick and they try to comfort each other.. without much success.
Location: River Bluff Weyr
Date: month 8, day 16 of Turn 3

Ciara

Ciara wrapped her arms tighter against her chest as she and R'yin made their way slowly back to her weyr. He had been kind enough to offer to walk her, and she had accepted without a second thought. She needed him here with her right now, for he knew exactly what she was feeling, just like she knew exactly what he was feeling. He loved Cirina as much as she did...perhaps even more so. Before the healers had ushered them out of the Infirmary, saying that she and R'yin should get some rest and come back tomorrow morning, R'yin had told Fall to stay with their sleeping daughter. The blue flit had curled himself by Cirina's head on the pillow, but had kept his whirling green eyes open, to watch her. Ciara knew Fall would come and get them if anything went wrong.

And she hoped deserpately that nothing would.

The brownrider walked beside the mother of his daughter with all his emotions balled up tighter than a fist. His arm settled in the habit of familiarity around her shoulders, steering her toward her own Weyr. His time with U'val had proved very beneficial and he was feeling much better about being with Ciara. But now.. now their little girl was sick!

"She's going to be just fine, Ciara." He was saying quietly. "Abrei and her healers are the best."

"Weyrfolk _don't_ get sick, R'yin. They just don't...and she is."

"I know, Ciara. I know... but she will get better. We just have to have a little faith. She's young and strong. She'll pull through, I know she will." His belief in this could not drop for an instant. The brownrider was still a bit fragile in his relationships, and losing his daughter would _not_ be acceptable. He pulled the greenrider close as they arrived at her Weyr.

"Do you want me to stay a bit? It might ease the waiting."

She nodded slowly as she opened the door. Leading him over to couch, she sat, her expression still anxious as she looked at him. "She is young and strong, but shards, R'yin, she was so pale..."

He curved his arm around her shoulders again. It was so easy, so familiar, to pull her against him. "She was, but she is very sick.
Abrei promised she would be doing better in a few days... " or so they _hoped_
anyway. "We'll just have to put our trust in them." He had to be strong; for Ciara, for Cirina, and definitely for himself.

"Weyrfolk sharding _don't_ get sick." Ciara knew she was repeating herself, and real fear flickered in her eyes as she turned her gaze to the floor. Her hands clenched in her lap. **What if she _does_ have the illness that is plaguing the animals? But the healers said that might not be the case... Oh, _shards_...** Feeling tears welling in her eyes, she moved closer to him, needing to feel something, _anything_, besides this.

"I know they don't, Ciara. But she _is_ and sometimes they do. We'll just have to wait and see." He pulled her close, feeling tears welling in his own eyes. He would not shed them, though. No, he was being strong.

But it did feel very comfortable and nice and sweet to cradle Ciara against him, the way he used to do. His hands ran down her back in what he thought was a comforting way, and he kissed the top of her head lightly.

She shifted, moving closer to him, her thoughts a haze of anxious fear. But...shards...his hands felt nice. Ciara leaned into his touch, tilting her head so it could rest on his shoulder, a subtle encouragement to continue what he was doing.

He held her that way for a long time, silence stretching between them, but comfortably as they shared worry over their little girl. His fingers cupped her cheek gently and tilted her head back to peer down at her with a faint smile. A gentle kiss meant to be encouraging was pressed softly to her lips, along with another promise. "She's going to be alright, Ciara. I promise."

R'yin was only reacting to some unspoken need within them each, not really actively seeking to seduce the mother of his child, but one kiss became a second one as he finished speaking, stretching into something more than friendly as he felt a response.

Her hand reached up to cup the back of his head, her fingers curling into his hair as the desperation she was feeling began to surface. Her body shifted, pressing tighter against his, finding comfort in the familiarity of it. Their kiss deepened then, turning into something it should not have been.

His voice was soft against her lips. "Ciara?" he questioned. "Ciara..."
more confidently as their kiss deepened and he pulled her closer, wrapping both arms around her.

She answered him with a wordless murmur, a hint of desperation in her voice as her grip on him turned almost fierce.

After that, he could no more stop than he could stop Thread all by himself. He still loved her so much, and his body was aching in the same way her's was. Their kisses turned heated and he began to pull her tunic loose, momentarily thinking they should retreat to her bed, but by now his own desire for this woman was rising almost as high as if propelled by dragon-lust. It was an equally base emotion, though. Fear.

As her own fingers flew to the laces of his own tunic, all but tearing them through the small holes, and as her hands slid up the skin of his back, tossing his shirt aside, a small part of her whispered, Stop.
Stop.
But that part of her was very small - and the fleeting sense was gone as she abandoned herself to sensation. She felt him shift against her, slowly moving her so she was on her back.

He lay down over her gently, but with a sense of urgency that was quickly becoming more intense for both of them. His kisses deepened, then inched now to the sensitive place on her neck that he remembered so well, while his hands traveled along now bare skin, caressing and touching.

Everything that she had felt before was burned away by her need for him.

She whispered his name and felt herself sliding into desperate desire.

~*~

It was not that long later - they had both been eager, as it happened -
when the pair of them lay spent on Ciara's sofa. R'yin was cradling her atop him now, as gently as possible, and looking into her eyes. While they were both physically sated, emotionally was something else again, and his dark brown eyes gazed into her's with a whimisical look of love. "Do you feel better, Ciara?" was his whispered words, followed by a sweet endearment as he kissed her cheek.

She felt a sharp ache growing inside of her as his lips touched her skin.
Ciara closed her eyes, his words echoing in her thoughts. **What have we done? What have I _done_?** "Do you?" she asked quietly, resting her head on his chest.

"As long as you do." He said quietly. He wasn't quite foolish enough to believe that this meant anything had changed, but it had stirred memories in his heart. "I'm sorry it took Cirina's getting sick to bring us together like this, but if I can be here for you somehow, then I will."

She had forgotten how comfortable it could be when she was curled up in his arms. How easy it was to hold and caress. She hadn't forgotten any of the more sensitive areas on his body, and he certainly hadn't forgotten any of hers. It was so comfortable...so familiar...

But K'sedel. Shards...her heart felt sick. **I _used_ you, R'yin. I sharding _used_ you.** Her wince was hidden in the curve of his neck. "I'm sorry, R'yin..."

Sensing something in her voice, R'yin began to untangle them from each other. He sighed softly as they both sat up. "I'm sorry too, Ciara. I thought it would help. And it hasn't. If you still want me to stay with you, I will. But otherwise, I'll return to my Weyr and see you at the Infirmary in the morning."

His voice was sad and soft. U'val had done wonders with him, but he was still very sensitive to the fact that he loved her still, and she did not love him.

Feeling torn, she bent her head to press her lips against his shoulder, then she pressed her brow to his arm. Trying to make sense of her conflicting emotions, she told him gently, "No, R'yin, you did help..."

R'yin nodded and smiled faintly down at her. He held her for a moment, then released her all together. "I think I'll help more by going back to my own Weyr now, Ciara. I find that I missed making love to you, and I want to do it again.. and again." He said honestly, if a little painfully. "I will meet you at the Infirmary in the morning. She will be fine." The sadness that underlay his words and attitude was obvious, but he also knew now wasn't the time to drag the pain in his heart out for all to see. They had a little girl to think about.

Shards, shards, _shards_... She nodded, fighting the lump in her throat as she wrapped her arms around her chest. "In the morning then..." she whispered, her thoughts returning to their daughter.

R'yin left her there on the couch, leaving as quietly as they'd come. By the time he reached the ledge, and called for Aerrath to come and pick him up, he was crying. By the time he reached his Weyr, he'd stopped crying, but the pain and hurt was much, much worse.

He held to one single hope - that Cirina would be alright. He thought he could live with everything else, as long as that came true.

Last updated on the October 4th 2005

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