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Elsewhere on Pern
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Story Listing
Series Listing

Weyrling Training

Writers: Devin
Date Posted: 4th June 2026

Characters: M'sar
Description: M'sar tries to help Nazoth understand what happened.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 1, day 7 of Turn 13
Notes: Mentioned: Dalonth
Follows "Selfishness: Lust" and "Selfishness: Consequences". Caution for swearing.

M'sar had only left Nazoth's side when he had to -- to get yelled at, to take a piss, and to get dinner. He'd brought the tray back to the barracks and ate with Nazoth curled around him, pausing to stroke his dragon every few minutes.

For Nazoth's dinner, M'sar had taken advantage of some of his classmates being off schedule because of the restday and taken all of Nazoth's favorite parts from four different herdbeasts, feeding him tender organ meat and tasty fat until he was stuffed.

M'sar didn't even care that his curfew was a candlemark earlier. He just wanted to be with his dragon.

He had _hurt_ Nazoth. Made him feel abandoned and scared. And knowing that made M'sar feel worse than he ever had in his life. Worse than his father catching him kissing another boy. Worse than being thrown out of the hold. Worse than the moment he realized Farand wasn't coming with him and that everything they'd shared had meant nothing.

"Five minutes until lights out!" one of the weyrlingstaff announced.

M'sar looked over at his bed. Soft and warm, but he didn't even want to be that far away from Nazoth. He got up from his dragon's couch just long enough to get the blanket and wrapped it around himself before curling up next to Nazoth. **I'm not leaving you.**

Nazoth crooned and nuzzled his head. After a moment, he asked, }:What were you doing with that Candidate?:{ His mindvoice was soft, curious.

M'sar certainly didn't want to lie to him or brush him off. But how could he explain it? **We were . . . mating. Sort of.**

}:Like the adult dragons do?:{ Nazoth had seen greens rising and males chasing, though he didn't understand what it was beyond something he'd do when he was older. It was less interesting than the idea of fighting Thread, so he didn't really care about it.

**Yeah.** M'sar reached up to stroke his dragon's muzzle. **I didn't mean to hurt you. I just wanted to feel good.**

}:Your mind was far away because . . . you were mating with the Candidate?:{ Nazoth pictured a green launching into the sky with blues and browns darting after her.

**Yeah. I was caught up with him, thinkin' about how good it felt. Didn't realize that . . . made my mind seem far away from you.** But of course it had, when all M'sar was thinking about was his own pleasure.

}:You did not mean to leave me?:{

**No! No, of course not.** M'sar turned to hug Nazoth. **I was just being fucking selfish.**

Nazoth was quiet for a moment, different feelings flickering through their bond. }:Mating feels good? And now you are in trouble because I didn't understand. If mating feels good for you then I will be brave when your mind is far and full of someone else.:{

M'sar sat up and wrapped his arms around Nazoth's neck. **No, Nazoth. No. I won't try that again until the Weyrlingmasters say you're ready.** Shards, how he hated to admit they were right. He stroked Nazoth's warm, soft hide. **You're too young to understand sex, and they told me that, and I ignored them.** Despite his size and how fast he was growing, Nazoth was only two months old. He was just a baby, and babies couldn't -- shouldn't -- understand sex.

}:But I want you to be happy,:{ he said in a sad, small voice.

**You _do_ make me happy.** The threat of tears made his throat feel thick. **You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and I love you more than anything.**

After another contemplative silence, Nazoth said, }:You were all alone Before.:{

**Yeah. And now I have you, and I'll never be alone again.** As wonderful as it felt to be bonded to a dragon, M'sar sometimes struggled with the idea that he was now responsible for someone else. Seven Turns of looking out for no one but himself, of doing nothing but surviving and taking as much pleasure as he could. It wasn't easy to let all that go.

The brown nuzzled him. }:You take very good care of me, M'sar.:{

**Except when I don't.** He thought of that rush of panic, of how his bold, confident dragon had been shivering and huddled against Dalonth.

}:What was it like, Before?:{

**Well, you weren't there, of course.** He rubbed Nazoth's head and then lay back down, tugging the blanket over him again. **I . . . well, I mated with lots of men, and I did whatever I wanted, and that was nice. But the rest of it wasn't so nice. I had to fight a lot, and sometimes I went hungry, and I had to be tough all the time because I couldn't let anyone see me as weak."*

}:You are not weak,:{ Nazoth said firmly.

**I feel weak, sometimes.** It was hard to admit, even to his dragon.

}:You are strong. You are my rider.:{

M'sar laughed softly. As if the one thing proved the other.

}:I'm tired.:{ Nazoth yawned.

M'sar echoed him. **Go to sleep,** he said gently. They'd both had a long, hard day. **I'll be right here when you wake up.**

Last updated on the June 4th 2026