This is How a Heart Breaks.

Writers: Leigh M-F.
Date Posted: 17th August 2018

Characters: A'kua
Description: The jagged end of a breakup.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 6, day 28 of Turn 9
Notes: Mentioned: Ilyssia and Gwynnyth (INPCs).

Waking alone felt strange. He didn't like it in the least. He missed having someone warm pressed against his back or chest. But that was going to be his reality for longer than his liking. It made him want to stay in bed and just ignore the world, and he couldn't. He still had his duties.

A'kua pushed his quilt aside and got out of bed, going to the trunk that held his clothing. Rumor had it there would be an inspection, so he needed to make sure his riding leathers looked especially presentable. Zeiranth would be flawless, of course; he'd gotten a bath and oiling last night, and he'd promised he would retain his shine even in his sleep. It wasn't hard to believe him, since the bronze didn't move much in when he slumbered-

There was a turquoise blue kerchief on top of his clothing. He must have thrown it in there by accident when he was leaving Ilyssia's weyr. It belonged to her; she had started using it last Turn when chores had to be done. She would braid her hair and tie the kerchief around her forehead. A'kua picked it up and turned it over in his hands; then, without knowing why, he brought the cloth to his nose.

Ilyssia's scent was still on the fabric.

Something broke in the bronzerider, and he was overwhelmed by a flood of memories. The spirited sparks in the greenrider's eyes, the curl of her lips when she smiled and laughed; the weight of her body when they cuddled in bed or on chairs; the simple but profound pleasure experienced when he played with her hair, or she traced patterns on his back with her fingertips; the sound of her voice when she laughed or talked or sang with him. He recalled Ilyssia's strength in their arguments, even though they were never serious arguments because of how in accord they were. She just always knew when he was wrong and had to be told, and yet she also knew when she needed to back down and rethink her position.

He remembered their trust, how well they understood each other, how deep their love ran, until one day Ilyssia's lips didn't curl the same when she smiled; one night, she turned so their spines met instead of their chests; one evening, she sat him down on their bed and told him that living through a long-distance education and being a dragonrider at the same time was doing her and Gwynnyth in, and that not even he or her old friendships in Dragonsfall and a new one out in Windswept Islands could help bolster her any longer. She had to choose, and she chose the new friendship that had become something more, that made her happy, that she could trust and understand.

"You were so many of my firsts, and I'm happy and grateful you were. But maybe we weren't meant to be each other's only," Ilyssia had said as gently as possible, but how could someone be tactful, saying something like that? And he wanted so badly to ask her to stay, to choose him one more time, but when he tried, the words just wouldn't come, because it was Lys, _his Lys_ (someone else's Lys, damn him, damn him, _damn him!_), and he never wanted her to be unhappy; how could he ever be selfish when it came to her? And he had Firelloa's happiness to think of as well, and he couldn't let his own lack of ambition and disbelief that he could be anything other than what he was hold Ilyssia down.

So all he said was "I'll miss you."

Now it truly sank in: The best and greatest human love of his life was leaving. It really was over. She wasn't coming back.

A'kua pressed the kerchief to his face and wept ugly, broken tears as his splintered heart keened one word with every beat: **Lys, _Lys_, LYS!**

Last updated on the August 21st 2018

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This is How a Heart Breaks.