Out of Misery

Writers: Heather
Date Posted: 3rd November 2017

Characters: Benamil, Arion
Description: The two pick up where they left off, and Benamil is finally put out of his misery
Location: Amber Hills Hold
Date: month 1, day 12 of Turn 9

Benamil

The last time Benamil had seen Arion they'd been in the middle of a very awkward, personal conversation....

**Flashback**
"I see." Arion said slowly, he tilted his head then. "So have you kissed a man? Or done... anything? I mean, you were at the Weyr."

The beastcrafter's eyes widened, "No, I've never...."

"Then how do you know you like men?"

"I didn't say I liked men, I said I liked you." Benamil pointed out.

"But how do you know you like me if you - "

"I just know, allright?" Benamil interrupted.

Arion stood and motioned for Benamil to do the same. Benamil pushed to his feet with a little sigh. **What now?**

"There's something you don't know about me, I - "

"Benamil, sir?" A voice and knock sounded on the other side of the door.

**End Flashback**

That knock at the door had been what sent Benamil to Lantern's Ridge to help be the eyes and hears on the ground for Lord Zathris while they tried to aid the smaller holding in recovering from the rock slide.

When he'd returned from Lantern Ridge, Arion had been on assignment from the Vintner Hall, accompanying and selling wine at a couple of different Gathers in the territory.

Benamil had been agonizing for over a month about what Arion had been about to tell him, and now that word was around that the vintner was back, Benamil was determined to see him and finish their conversation.

**He'll either tell me he thinks I'm disgusting, an abomination, or...** The 'or' was too much to hope for, Benamil couldn't even imagine the words.

Benamil spent the walk from the main Hold to the Vintner's building practicing all of his replies to the imagined things he thought Arion might say. Mostly, he was practicing the speech where he begged Arion not to tell anyone in the Hold about... about who he truly was on the inside.

Ducking into the building, the beastcrafter made straight for Arion's door and knocked.

There was no denying the wide-eyed surprise on Arion's face as he opened the door and saw Benamil on the other side.

Over the vintner's shoulder, Benamil noticed that there was another man in the room, "Oh, I apologize if I've interrupted, I can come back," Benamil said, taking a step backward.

"Oh no you don't," Arion grabbed Benamil's sleeve, "he was just leaving."

Benamil side-stepped as the other man brushed past him, wearing a little grin. "Who was..."

"Nevermind that," Arion said as he shut the door behind him. "How was Lantern Ridge?"

"Horrible," Benamil said honestly, as he paced into the middle of Arion's room. "Look, I was hoping we could pick up that conversation we were having when I had to leave."

Arion' eyes followed Benamil as he paced back and forth, "You were? I was under the impression that the last thing you wanted to talk about was your, um, 'feelings' about men."

"Ssshhh," Benamil looked around as if someone might hear.

"Relax, Ben, your secret is safe here." Arion said, walking slowly toward the beastcrafter.

His secret was safe? So Arion wasn't going to tell anyone? "Really?"

Arion stopped just in front of Benamil, "Really. Now, if you'll shut up for just a second, I'll finish what I was trying to tell you a month ago."

"Right. Sorry. Sometimes when I get nervous I tend to-"

Arion grabbed Benamil's face and pulled it down for a soft, thorough kiss. The vintner certainly knew what he was doing because the touch of his lips sent fire through Benamil's veins that a woman had never caused.

"Does this mean?" Benamil asked, panting a little when they broke apart.

"Yes, you idiot," Arion sighed, but there was a smile touching the corners of his mouth. "I've watched you, and wanted you, for Turns. But you were the Hold's most eligible bachelor, and you had a new woman to date each sevenday. I was sure there was _no_ way you would ever be gay."

Benamil winced, "The word makes me cringe. I've heard it used so derogatorily from my family. I don't know if I like all men, but I know that you, you I can't get out of my head. I dream about you all the time. It's just been... hard. If we were living at the Weyr this would be no big deal, but here... No one can know."

Arion made a face and said, "Welcome to the club. I've had to hide who I am my whole life, but we're not the only ones, there are others. You've just got to be careful."

"You can't imagine how... relieved I am," Benamil felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Not only did someone finally know his secret, but the person who knew, was the one person that Benamil wanted.

"Yes, yes I can." Arion reached out and began unbuttoning the front of the beastcrafter's shirt. "Can you imagine how hard it was for me watching you for these past Turns as you've slipped around with different women, trying to be the man your family thinks you are? I always knew they weren't right for you."

Vtols were fluttering like mad in Benamil's stomach as he watched Arion's fingers work, "You did?"

"Of course, I'm your best friend."

"Then why did you react the way you did when I first told you?" Benamil wondered.

"Because," Arion tugged Benamil's shirt tails out from beneath the waistband of his pants, "I was afraid you were just... experimenting.. that you didn't really know what you wanted, and that if I revealed myself to you, you might tell someone and then I would be the outcast. I've lived in Amber Hills my whole life, and I don't want to go anywhere else."

The air on Benamil's skin sent a shiver down his spine, "What changed your mind?"

"Honestly? Seeing you so miserable. It's been months and you still feel the same way. You won't tell on me, will you?" Arion's voice was a whisper as he pushed Benamil's shirt over his shoulders, sending the white garment fluttering to the floor.

Benamil was nervous, he'd never done this before, well, not with a man, it was evident in his voice, "I'll never tell."

"Good, then I'll put you out of your misery." Arion leaned up to the taller man and kissed him again, more ardently this time.

"Please," Benamil murmured again Arion's lips, he'd been miserable for so long, trying to change himself, but right now he felt more sure of who he was than ever before.

Last updated on the November 27th 2017

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Out of Misery