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Writers: Miriah, Suzee
Date Posted: 20th May 2015

Characters: N'call, Ninaine
Description: N'call helps Ninaine cope with Luneth's mating flight.
Location: Dragonsfall Weyr
Date: month 12, day 18 of Turn 7
Notes: Mentioned; K'ran
Notes: Takes place after "Not Such a Good Experience"

N'call

Ninaine

Skin pinked from the scouring she'd given herself, Ninaine clutched at
the loose fitting, baggy dress the drudge had brought to her in the
bath. Her other hadn't been fit to wear after..._that_. She would have
never been able to mend the tear and she didn't want to try to fly
with a bodice that was ripped right down the center. She had had to
pry Luneth from Rogueth, the green hadn't wanted to leave her mate,
but was willing to fly her rider back to their weyr before hurrying
back to cuddle with the bronze.

As Luneth flew off, Ninaine slowly walked into her weyr, arms wrapped
around her chest tightly.

"Are you alright," he asked before she got completely inside. He'd
know she'd come here after and was worried. From her body language she
wasn't doing at all well. He took a step toward her and opened his
arms.

She lifted her head at the sound of N'call's voice and for a moment
she stood completely still. His arms beckoned her and she hesitated,
her face clearly showing her shame at what had happened. But instead
of running from him, she stepped towards him quickly and pressed her
face against his chest. "It was Luneth. It wasn't me. It was Luneth."
She swallowed hard and began to tremble, closing her eyes tightly.

"I know Ninaine," he said softly into her hair and just held her
against him. "It was Luneth." He'd tried to make her see that his gold
flights were Haloth and maybe now she'd be able understand that and
not throw it in his face.

She buried her face even deeper into his chest, her words hard to make
out. "I threw up on him. I didn't mean to. I thought you had won
because it felt..." She shuddered and clutched at his sides. "but it
wasn't you. I couldn't help it. All over the bed. I don't want to do
that again. I can't do that again."

"Heh," he said and hugged her a little tighter. "The feelings you had
during the flight were Luneth's feelings. Not yours. She is happy
isn't she?"

Ninaine nodded slowly. "But I feel disgusted with myself. " She rested
her head against his chest. "And I don't think he liked it much
either." That had wounded, even though she knew she deserved it,
especially since she thrown up on him. "I don't want some stranger
being inside me like that. I don't want to...like it like I did. "
That was the most shameful part to her. She had liked it...until she
came to herself. "My mother was right."

"But it wasn't you, it was her you were feeling. I know it's hard to
accept, especially when you've been taught the way you have. It's not
easy to adjust, but it's not wrong. I isn't your choice it's hers." He
rubbed a hand up and down her back.

The touch was soothing, settling some of her nerves. "I don't know if
I can do that again, N'call. I don't know if I can separate the two of
us. I felt what she was feeling, but why do I have to do what she is
doing? " She sighed, closing her eyes tightly. "I _hate_ flights."

"Honey," he said helplessly. "They told you all this in your weyrling
classes. Don't you remember?" Then he chuckled at her. "Trust me,
Haloth is going to catch her one of these days and you'll really like
that."

"I remember, but living it is different, N'call." She pulled away to
stare at his chest for a long moment. "I can't believe I threw up on
your wingleader. Literally on him." She frowned, her hands pulling on
his shirt. "Am I a bad rider, N'call?" She finally looked up at him,
uncertainty warring with embarrassment. "It feels like I'm the only
one having these problems."

"Yes, well. Things happen in flight rooms that aren't always the best
foot forward. I practically ran away from my first win. "

"You did?" She peered up at him and slowly pulled away, moving to sit
on her bed. So she wasn't the only one who ever had problems in a
flight? She wondered if there were any other greenriders who disliked
them. "So I don't have to really like them, do I?" It was more of a
rhetorical question. "As long as I don't keep Luneth from enjoying
them." She sighed. "It still feels wrong, though. I don't like waking
up to a stranger." She looked up at him. "Especially one who isn't
you."

"Yes I did," he chuckled at the memory. "It was a very old auntie
greenrider." He crouched down in front of her with a lopsided smile.
"No you don't have to like them but it would probably be good if you
don't throw up on them or run away in horror."

Ninaine groaned and covered her face. "I couldn't help it. It wasn't
like I wanted to do that!" She laid back on her bed with a sigh. "I
wouldn't want to stay in the flightroom with a stranger. I won't." She
shuddered. "So you have to win next time."

"I'll do my best," he grinned "but you really have to talk to Haloth
and Luneth." He stood and slid onto the edge of the bed with her.
"Just be nice and calmly leave. People know how you feel about it,
trust me."

Her brow knit. "They do?" She swallowed and turned her head towards
him. "All of them?"

"Well probably not _all_ of them silly. But anyone paying attention."
Dragon's gossiped which is why he'd known when he'd come back to
himself. He hadn't paid the slightest attention to the frustrated yell
from his bedmate when he'd gotten up and gone straight to his weyr to
bathe and change before coming here to wait for her. "Dragons gossip
like old aunties and uncles."

She sighed softly. "I don't know why Luneth chose me at all." She was
glad her green was deep asleep next to Rogueth and paying little
attention to her rider. "I'm just...I'm not good at any of this." She
exhaled through her nose and then rubbed her face,
uncharacteristically open and lacking stiffness. "I don't know what to
do next, N'call. I don't know how to act any more. I just...It's like
I can't be _me_ any more and I don't know who I'm supposed to be."

"That's no different than any other rider. I didn't understand why
Haloth chose me either. You'll learn. You're smart Ninaine, and you'll
learn what you like and what you want and who you want to be." N'call
smiled realizing much the same applied to him. She was a maddening,
confusing, ball of contradictions but he could't help the way he felt
with her. He couldn't protect her from the dangers of their lives by
anything but doing his job and trusting others to do theirs.

She thrust out her lower lip in thought, then turned her head towards
him. "I know I like you. That's a start."

"A good start," he grinned and kissed her.

Last updated on the May 21st 2015

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